Choices
by IMTheresa
Summary: What if there was someone Dean loved as much as Sam and what if he had to choose between them? Definite AU
1. Chapter 1

**Choices**

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I wish I had the privilege of working on _Supernatural_, but I have to be content with being a fan.

A/N: This story is a big what-if. Come along for the ride and let me know what you think. It's complete and will be posted in 11 sections.

oooOOOooo

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending - Maria Robinson

oooOOOooo

Kristine sat in her car for several minutes before starting the engine. She felt numb and was barely able to think straight, but she only had to go a few miles. It seemed to take hours to get to her cottage and once she was there, she couldn't get out of the car.

How could this have happened? It wasn't even supposed to be possible. She leaned forward and put her head on the steering wheel. What the hell was she going to do?

When her cell phone started to ring she reached for it out of habit and looked at the caller ID display. Even though it was her best friend, she considered not answering it, but Kristine had spent too much time hiding things from her friend and after being released from the mental hospital, she had promised to be more honest. She could have put off being honest, but she really needed to hear a friendly voice at the moment.

"Hey Lori," she said, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

"Hey, you. What's up?"

"Nothing; I'm just on my way home. What's up with you?"

"I just got booked to give a speech in Charlotte this weekend. Wanna come? I know it's last minute, but it just happened. I'm a replacement for someone who got sick. Come on, it's just a half hour thing and then you and I can play."

Kristine and Lori met the summer before they started fifth grade when Lori and her family moved into the small town of Mountain Ridge, North Carolina. They became fast friends and kept in touch while going to different colleges. These days Lori lived in Manhattan, making a living as a lawyer in a big firm known for its pro-bono work. A rising star in the firm, she was often called upon to represent it at various events around the country.

Lori seemed to sense Kristine's uncertainty. "Come on, Kristine. If you don't agree to come to Charlotte, I'm just going to have to come to Mountain Ridge and there are no good places to play there."

"Tell me where to meet you and I'll be there." Kristine forced herself to sound enthusiastic.

After ending the call, Kristine made her way inside the cottage. She looked around as if she'd never seen it before as she headed to the upstairs bathroom. She undressed and took a long, hot shower, trying to wash away what she was feeling.

---

Two days later, Kristine headed to Charlotte. It was only an hour drive and she was able to make it the whole way without pulling over to throw up. There was no way she was going to be able to keep the news from her friend. It was probably for the best anyway; she needed she needed to talk to someone she trusted.

Lori's speech was scheduled for 4:00 Saturday afternoon and she had no further responsibilities to the convention. She was booked in a room at a separate hotel and that's where Kristine had agreed to meet her. Kristine left her car with the valet and swung her overnight bag over her shoulder, smiling and waving off help from a bellhop as she dialed Lori's number on her cell phone.

Although Lori was very responsible in her work life and carried herself well in public, she was still the fun-loving irreverent girl Kristine remembered from childhood. Kristine had seen her take a business call on her cell and then throw back a shot of whiskey as soon as she was off the phone. Under normal circumstances, Kristine could match her drink for drink, but there would be no alcohol for her on this trip.

"Are you here?" Lori asked with no preamble.

"Just got into the lobby."

"Come on up to room 1521."

Kristine saw the elevators to her left and moved toward them. "I'll be right there."

She only had to knock once before Lori threw open the door. Kristine dropped her bag as her friend wrapped her arms around her. They spoke on the phone several times a week, but rarely got to see each other. Kristine returned the hug just as eagerly as it was offered.

"Get in here!" Lori commanded as she grabbed Kristine's bag. She took it into one of the bedrooms and called back to Kristine. "You look pale; have you been sick?"

Kristine smiled as she sat on the couch. "Don't be parental."

Lori came back into the living room. "Do you want something to drink?"

"How about some water?"

"Boring!" Lori complained as she walked to the small refrigerator.

"Is your firm paying for this over-indulgence?" Kristine asked, glancing around the room. They had both come from family money and were used to the finer things in life, but one of the things they had in common was they preferred things simpler.

"No need to worry your pretty little head over that," Lori joked. "Hungry?"

"I don't need a $5 candy bar."

"I meant dinner. What are you in the mood for?"

Kristine held a frozen smile on her face. "How about room service and some conversation?"

Lori looked at her, concern showing in her eyes. "You've got something on your mind."

"Yeah."

"Okay, then. Room service it is." She walked across the room and took a menu from the desk. "How about some good old fashioned junk food?"

Kristine nodded, trying not to cry. "Yeah, that sounds good."

They decided on pizza and a chocolate cake, after Lori placed the order, she settled back down on the couch. "You need something stronger than water?"

Kristine shook her head, tears springing into her eyes.

"Oh no," Lori said, tucking one leg under herself and resting an arm on the back of the couch. "Are you having problems with depression again? Are you cutting yours—"

"No, it's nothing like that," Kristine assured her. "I'm really glad you called the other day and this little weekend is coming at the perfect time."

"Tell me what's going on," Lori said, her voice full of worry.

Kristine repositioned herself so that she was facing her friend. She took a throw pillow from behind her and held it on her lap, her arms wrapped around it. It didn't come as a complete surprise to her that she was having a hard time actually saying the words. After a few moments, she looked at Lori.

"I'm pregnant."

Lori didn't even try to hide her shock. "What? You're sure?"

Kristine nodded, fighting the tears. "I had just come from the doctor when you called the other day."

"I thought you –"

"Me, too. I was told years ago that I couldn't get pregnant, but I guess the doctors were wrong," she shrugged, smiling through her tears.

"Do you – uh – do you know who the father is?"

Kristine wanted to be offended, but given her history, the question was a fair one. She nodded. "It's Dean."

"Oh my God!" Lori reigned in her reaction. "Sorry."

"What am I going to do, Lori? I mean, I'm not stable enough to be a mother – I don't know that I even want a kid….and Dean? How do I tell him about this?"

Lori laid a hand on Kristine's wrist. "Let's work through this one by one. We'll start with you and work our way up to Dean. How far along are you?"

"Almost ten weeks." She saw Lori's disbelief. "I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant, so I don't even really pay attention. I started feeling sick a couple of weeks ago and thought I had the flu at first."

"Okay, then. You, my friend, are plenty stable. And I think you'd make a great mom."

"I don't even have plants."

Lori laughed. "That's hardly the same thing."

"I can barely take care of myself."

"First of all, that's not true. You've been doing so much better since you got out of the hospital the last time and you're being more open with me and your other friends in town. Second, maybe having someone to take care of will inspire you to take care of yourself." Lori looked at her friend. "Otherwise, you have options."

"I'm not having an abortion. I know I can't do that."

"What about adoption?"

"I've been thinking about that. This may be the only baby I can ever have." She looked at her friend. "And it isn't some random guy's baby. It's Dean's."

"I think you've already decided what you want to do," Lori smiled. "You want this baby."

Kristine looked away for a few moments and then turned back to Lori. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. I just don't know if I'm ready."

"You know, Mountain Ridge is a fabulous place to raise a child," Lori said. "And everyone in that town loves you. You'll have all the support you need. And if the kid needs a crazy aunt, well…."

Kristine smiled even though she had started to cry. Lori rubbed her arm. "You'll have everything you need and so will that baby."

"I have to tell Dean."

There was a knock at the door.

"Ah, but first you have to eat pizza."

---

Kristine and Lori spent the weekend talking, shopping and generally having a good time; Kristine drove Lori to the airport on Tuesday morning.

"I got you something," Lori said as Kristine opened the trunk of her car. Lori pulled her suitcase out and a gift bag Kristine hadn't noticed.

"What's this?" Kristine asked, taking it from her.

"Look inside."

Kristine pulled the tissue paper from the bag and smiled. She held the stuffed brown bear lovingly and looked at her friend. "Aw, first baby gift. Thank you."

"It's all going to be okay," Lori said and hugged her. "Call me tonight, okay?"

Kristine pulled away and nodded, fighting the tears. She had done that a lot over the last few days.

After Lori walked inside the terminal, Kristine got back in the car and headed toward the highway. Her home of Mountain Ridge was a small town just north of Asheville and Kristine's family had lived in the area for generations. She worked a few hours each week as a therapist in an Asheville clinic, but since her own hospitalization for self-mutilation a year ago, she hadn't felt up to going back full time. She also spent a lot of time with the hunters who came to the estate for rest and relaxation.

She was the last surviving member of her immediate family; except for her father, everyone had been killed by the same demon who took Mary Winchester. She met John and Dean when Sam was attending Stanford and after the brothers reunited, Dean brought Sam to Mountain Ridge when he was having trouble coping with the death of his girlfriend. It was difficult to define the relationship she and Dean had; she'd even given up trying. She was content with whatever it was they had. The news that she had to share with him would certainly change their relationship. She knew that he was a good man who would take responsibility for the baby. He might even be happy about becoming a father, but Kristine had no idea how he was going to combine his two worlds.

She dropped her bag inside the front door of her cottage and went to the kitchen for a bottle of water. It was early spring and still fairly chilly outside, but she walked out onto the back deck and stared at the trees.

The cottage was on her family's estate property. She'd turned the main house into a place where hunters could come and rest and she lived in what used to house the estate caretaker and his family. It had been years since it had been used for that purpose and had just been a storage facility until she decided to renovate it and move in after her mother's death.

Kristine set the bottle of water on the deck railing and pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket. She stared at it for several minutes before dialing Dean Winchester's number. They talked a few times a week, but she didn't know where he and his brother were now. The last time they'd spoken, Dean had told her that he and Sam were headed to an Oklahoma town to deal with a group of vampires they'd heard about.

"Hey there," Dean answered the phone, affection filling his voice.

"Hey. Is this a bad time?"

"No. I just dropped Sam off at a bookstore and I'm headed over to the motel's laundry room to wash our clothes."

"What bet did you lose?"

"It's not important," he said, sounding offended. "How ya doin'?"

Kristine leaned against the railing. She loved the sound of Dean's voice and realized every time she talked to him how much she missed him when they were apart.

"I spent the weekend in Charlotte with Lori. We had a good time."

"Oh yeah? So you spent the weekend drinking and going from club to club?"

"Not this time. We hung out, talked, shopped. So, how's the vampire thing going?"

"We finished up yesterday."

"Are you still in Oklahoma?"

"Yeah; Sam's got a few ideas for another job, but so far all we did was get out of the town where we killed the vampires."

"Dean, uh, can you come here? Or can I meet you somewhere?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just…."

"You'd tell me if you were having those thoughts again, wouldn't you?"

After Kristine's sister was killed when Kristine was only a teenager, she'd started having problems with depression. She engaged in dangerous behavior, including self-mutilation and was in and out of mental hospitals for years afterward. Dean happened to come into town just over a year ago as she was hitting rock bottom and had seen her at her worst. Her supervisor at the clinic had helped her get into a good program in Colorado and Dean drove her to the facility. Ever since then they'd been keeping in closer touch.

Kristine sighed to herself. She knew it was a valid concern, but it still made her sad that had been the first thing on both Dean's and Lori's minds. "I would, but I'm not."

"We're probably 12 or 13 hours from you. We can head out early this afternoon and be there late tonight."

"You don't have to drive straight through. Tomorrow is okay."

"You can talk to me now, you know."

"I know. Are you sure I'm not taking you away from anything?"

"You're not, but it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter what was going on; I'm there if you need me."

Kristine wanted to cry. Again.

oooOOOooo

"She didn't give you any hint of what she wanted?" Sam asked once they were on the road to North Carolina.

Dean shook his head. "No."

"Do you have any guesses?"

"Not really. But this isn't the first time she's asked us to come."

Sam saw the worried expression on his brother's face.

"There was something in her voice, though." Dean shook his head. "I guess we'll find out when we get there."

"Which at this rate will be no time soon."

They'd gotten caught in the traffic backup caused by an accident on the interstate. They'd heard on the radio news report that it involved a semi truck and two other vehicles and that the traffic jam was at least five miles long so far. Investigation and clean-up was expected to take hours so a detour had been set up, but the exit for it wasn't for another two miles and nothing was moving.

---

Finally reaching a town where they could get gas and food, the brothers headed to a fast food restaurant. Other people had the same idea and they ended up having to stand in line for nearly 15 minutes, but a table opened up so they didn't have to eat in the car. Dean called Kristine to tell her they were running late because of the traffic; she told him again not to worry about driving straight through and that the next day would be soon enough.

At midnight they were still over 300 miles from Mountain Ridge and decided to stop for the night. Dean had talked to Kristine again just before 10:00; she had admitted to falling asleep on the couch and they agreed they would meet up in the morning.

It was just after 11:30 the next day when Dean pulled up in front of Kristine's cottage. She walked out onto the porch a moment later; Sam held back while Dean walked up the three steps and wrapped his arms around her. A few moments later he smiled and nodded as Kristine motioned for him to join them.

---

The safe house had several guests and though Sam preferred to give Dean and Kristine as much privacy as possible, it made more sense for him to stay at the cottage. He chose the downstairs guest room even though it was smaller than the other bedroom on the second floor. Kristine used it primarily for storage, but it was organized and there was a bed in it.

"Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable upstairs?" Kristine asked as she helped Sam settle in. "This room is barely a closet and –"

"It's fine," he assured her with a smile.

She looked around doubtfully. It wasn't often that she had personal guests, but she realized that once the baby came this would be her only spare room since she would need to have the nursery upstairs. Suddenly her mind was swimming with the various ways that her life was going to change and she had to brace herself against a stack of boxes to keep from falling down. If Sam noticed, he didn't say anything.

"Well, if you need anything just let me know. You're welcome to use anything that's here, so just make yourself at home."

Sam pulled his laptop out of its case and set it on the bed. "Don't worry about me."

Kristine impulsively kissed him on the cheek before leaving the room. She paused at the door and saw his confused expression, but she disarmed him with a smile and headed to the kitchen where Dean was perusing the contents of the refrigerator.

"Hungry?" she asked.

"When did you find the grocery store?"

"What?"

"I always assumed your empty refrigerator meant you didn't know where the store was."

Kristine didn't particularly care for cooking and tended to take her meals in the main house or she'd microwave something at the cottage. After finding out she was pregnant, she'd immediately decided to keep healthy foods around and the refrigerator was stocked with fruit, vegetables and plenty of milk instead of the beer it normally held.

"You're funny."

"Handsome, too," he said turning to face her.

"I thought you were hungry," she said, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I am, but there's nothing in there but healthy stuff. Let's go to Mojo's."

They invited Sam to go to the bar and grill with them, but he declined. Once there, Dean ordered a hamburger and fries while Kristine stuck with soup. She had been sick earlier in the day, but thought she could handle something relatively bland.

While at the restaurant, Kristine managed to steer the conversation away from the real reason she'd asked Dean to come to Mountain Ridge. The last thing she wanted to do was tell him the news in a public place. She suspected he knew what she was doing, but he was nice enough not to push her.

As they left the restaurant, Dean put his arm around Kristine's shoulders. "When are you going to tell me what's going on?"

With an arm around his waist, Kristine veered from their path to the Impala parked near the restaurant toward a park that would be deserted in the middle of a chilly weekday. In the summer there would be young children in the playground, older children in the baseball field and families taking up all of the picnic tables, but today Dean and Kristine had everything to themselves.

She stopped at a table near the back of the picnic area and pulled her coat around her. She wasn't cold because of the temperature, but because of what she was going to tell Dean. She had no idea how he was going to react. She knew that he liked kids and that he would be a wonderful father; she'd seen him interact with his younger brother enough to know that. But his life was already complicated and it wasn't like he and Kristine had made a commitment to one another. One thing about Dean Winchester, though, was that he accepted responsibility and was duty-bound to do the right thing. Kristine knew that no matter what else, he would be by her side. That was something she and Lori had discussed at length during their weekend in Charlotte.

Kristine had been content with their relationship as is. She saw Dean several times a year and spoke to him on the phone often, but they had no rules. She enjoyed spending time with him and she worried about the dangerous situations he was in when he was away from her, but she wasn't devastated when he left. She missed him, though, and never realized how much until the next time she talked to him.

Kristine sat on the bench with her back against the table. Dean sat down next to her.

"I – " she looked off into the distance, gathering her thoughts. "I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. No sugarcoating."

"Okay." Dean agreed, some apprehension evident in his voice.

Kristine turned to face him. She had never been this nervous around him, not even the first time they made love or the first time he came to North Carolina just to visit her.

"Dean, I'm pregnant."

She saw the surprise on his face, but it quickly gave way to a myriad of other emotions. He stood up and walked a slight distance away before turning to face her. "Are you okay?"

Kristine was stunned by his question. She had expected him to ask if it was his or if she was sure, but she didn't think the first thing out of his mouth would be concern for her well being.

"I…." she looked at him. "I don't know how to answer that."

Dean sat down and took her hand. She felt him trembling slightly.

"How long have you known?"

"About a week."

Dean didn't know all the details, but she had told him when they first started sleeping together that she couldn't get pregnant. Still, they had always used condoms since they both had multiple partners. He nodded, probably thinking back to the last time he'd been in town.

"You've already thought about what you want," he said. Kristine noticed it was a statement and not a question.

"This might be the only baby I can ever have," she said. "It might not be the perfect time in my life, but at least I'm not some idiot high school student or….I'm old enough to make a good decision and I have the means to support a child. I know I've spent a lot of time pretty screwed up, but I think I can do right by this baby."

Kristine saw relief flood Dean's features. She never thought he would want her to get an abortion, but it hadn't occurred to her that he would want the baby as much as he seemingly did.

"I think you'll make a great mother," he said, his voice cracking and his eyes sparkling with tears. "So the doctor before who said –"

"Looks like he was wrong," she nodded and waited a few minutes before continuing. "What are you thinking?"

He shrugged and looked at her. "I – I don't know."

"I want you to know that I don't expect anyth–"

"Don't say that. You should expect something from me. You didn't get pregnant by yourself."

"I would love for you to be a part of your child's life, Dean, but I don't want you to think you have to give up hunting or –"

"We'll figure it out." He sat back down and squeezed her hand. "My _child_. Oh my god, that just doesn't sound right."

"Dean, I've seen you with kids. I've seen you with Sam and I know what a huge part you played in his childhood. You'll be a great father."

"That's another word that doesn't sound right. Me? A father?" He shook his head. "And come on, Sam is my brother."

"I know, but you were more parental than most brothers…."

Kristine smiled at him, watching as he went through some of the same thoughts she'd had when the doctor told her the news. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, his hand moving to her belly.

"This is really happening," he whispered.

She nodded against his shoulder, afraid to speak. She felt his lips gently caress her hair. They sat quietly for several minutes before Dean spoke again.

"When is the due date?"

"October 11."

"This is really going to take some getting used to."

"You know, I thought you'd be more freaked out."

"I would have thought so, too," he smirked.

"Maybe it just needs to sink in," Kristine joked.

Dean shifted and held Kristine's face in his hands. He looked into her eyes for a few moments before leaning toward her and kissing her, gently at first and then with more passion. She felt his hands move from her face to her arms; she suddenly didn't want to be sitting in the middle of a public park, even if it was deserted.

"How about we find some place a little more private?" Kristine suggested, feeling flush.

"Any ideas? Sam's probably hold up at your place."

Kristine stood up and held out her hand. "I have lots of ideas."

After a moment of hesitation, Kristine led Dean down a wooded path. They weren't far from the estate property and the path ended near the border. There was a brick building not far beyond the path that was now used for storage – she had no idea what the original use was – but it was actually close to her cottage and accessible using the same dirt road that meandered throughout the property. She'd moved many of the things from her mother's bedroom to the storage unit until she could decide what to do with them, but several years after her death, Kristine still preferred not to think about it.

Kristine pushed in the combination to unlock the door and once inside, she slipped out of her coat and sat down on the plush couch that had been in the sitting area in her mother's suite. Because they'd had privacy along the walk to the storage unit, they'd stopped for long, passionate kisses and lingering caresses. Dean sat next to her, kissing her as his hands roamed under her sweater.

She pushed his coat off of his shoulders and a moment later Dean dropped it to the floor. Kristine lay back, pulling him with her. She closed her eyes as he kissed her neck, but suddenly he moved away.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her breath coming in gasps.

"I don't want to hurt you."

She smiled and reached for him. "You won't hurt me."

She saw the apprehension on his face and pulled him down, kissing him gently and then with more intensity when she felt him responding to her. It didn't take long for Dean to forget his trepidation and when they were finished, she lay in his arms on the couch, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers. She snuggled under the blanket Dean had found and laid over them.

"Are you scared?" Dean whispered.

"Not at this particular moment."

"In general?"

"Petrified."

"I'll be here."

She traced the outline of the amulet he always wore around his neck. "Do you think the baby will be safe?"

Kristine felt him stiffen.

"Nothing is going to happen to this baby," he promised.

Dean?" she began after a few moments.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for not asking if I was sure that it's yours."

Dean caressed her arm and kissed her gently.

---

"Does the Ryan estate just circle the whole town?" Dean asked as they walked back to where they'd left the car. "It seems to be walking distance to everywhere."

Kristine smiled. "It borders the north edge, which is what passes for a downtown. It just seems like it's everywhere because you don't go into the more residential areas."

"Have you told anyone other than Lori about the baby?" Dean asked a few minutes later.

"Just Lori. I wanted to tell you first, but I don't plan to take out an ad in the newspaper or anything. I'm an unmarried female and this is a small town in the south."

"Do you think you'll have problems with people in town?"

She sighed. "No; not really. I'd like some more time to get used to the idea myself, though."

Dean nodded.

"It's okay if you want to tell Sam," Kristine said, knowing that's what was really on Dean's mind.

"You're sure?"

"Of course. And maybe Bobby."

"Bobby?"

Kristine avoided his eyes. "He knows a lot about protection and –"

Dean squeezed her hand. "Okay. We'll talk to Bobby."

---

Sam wasn't at the cottage when Dean and Kristine got back and Dean tried to hide his concern. Sam had disappeared on him more than once and it rarely led to anything good. While Kristine went upstairs to shower, Dean settled on the couch and dialed his brother's number.

"Hey," Sam answered on the second ring.

Dean let out his breath. "Hey, where are you?"

"At the main house. It's packed, man. Are you at the cottage?"

"Yeah. Hey, uh, I'm gonna head toward you. I want to talk to you about something."

"Is something wrong?"

Dean hesitated, but found himself smiling. "No. Nothing's wrong, I just….I need to tell you something. I'll be there soon."

After ending the call, Dean walked upstairs. He found Kristine sitting on the edge of her bed, her back to the door. She was drying her hair with a towel and had dressed in sweat pants and a flannel shirt that might have been his. He stood in the doorway and watched her for a few minutes, but she must have felt his eyes on her because she turned toward him and smiled.

"Did you find Sam?"

"He's up at the main house."

"Is that where you're going?"

"Do you mind?"

"Why would I mind?" she tossed the towel on top of the clothes she'd discarded earlier and laid back against the pillows. "I think I'm going to take a nap."

Dean moved into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she grinned mischievously. "Just worn out."

Dean returned the smile, then leaned down to kiss her gently. "I'll be back later, okay?"

She nodded. "Take your time."

---

After Dean got to the main house, the brothers went outside to the large gazebo that had once been used for lavish parties before Kristine's mother died. The house was full of hunters and it was the closest spot where they could get some privacy. The wind had picked up a little since Dean and Kristine had been in the park, but it still wasn't uncomfortably cold.

Dean had seemed perfectly fine when he'd gotten to the house, but once they were outside he'd started to pace and had yet to say a word. There was something about his expression that bothered Sam, but not enough that he was scared. He didn't think his brother's mood had anything to do with the paranormal.

"Okay, Dean," Sam said, his brother's silence finally getting to him. "Dude, you've got to talk to me. What's going on?"

Dean stopped pacing and looked at him. Still, he didn't speak.

"Did something happen? Is Kristine all right?"

Dean ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath. He squared his shoulders like he often did before beginning something difficult or unpleasant. After a moment, he sat down on the bench next to Sam and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped between his knees. It was still several moments before he spoke.

"So, uh, how do you feel about being an uncle?" Dean asked, sounding nervous.

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He wanted to gauge his brother's feelings before responding. If Dean was nervous, Sam needed to appear calm. If he was happy, Sam needed to share in his joy. At the moment, though, he couldn't tell exactly what Dean was feeling.

"How do you feel about being a father?" Sam finally asked.

The word seemed to surprise Dean. He shook his head, almost disbelieving. "I'm not father material, man."

"What are you talking about?"

"Me? Come on. What can I offer a kid?" Dean rubbed his hands together and looked off in the distance. "And what about hunting? How can I do that and help raise a kid? If I don't hunt, what do I do instead? Besides, I'm not going to leave you out there without any back-up."

"Take it one day at a time for now, Dean. Kristine knows you and she knows what you do."

Dean appeared to be doubtful.

"For the record," Sam added. "I think you'll be a great dad."

He looked at Sam. "You do?"

"Sure. I've seen you with kids and, as surprised as I was at first, you're great with them." Sam looked away and shrugged. "But considering what a good big brother you are…."

Dean looked at him, but Sam was still staring straight ahead and didn't see the affection in his brother's eyes. They sat quietly for a few minutes, each lost in his own thoughts.

"You okay with this, Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice low.

"Yeah," Sam said, not really sure that he was being completely honest. "Of course I am. What about you?"

Dean shook his head, but a smile was playing on his lips. "I'm kind of freaked out, but….It's kind of cool, too."

"How does Kristine feel about it?"

"Pretty much the same way. She doesn't want to tell people yet. Other than you and me, only her friend, Lori, knows."

"She was okay with you telling me?"

Dean nodded. "She wants me to talk to Bobby, too. She wants to make sure the baby is protected."

"Has there been anything weird happening? I mean, outside of the normal weird?"

"Not as far as she said. She's just worried." Dean looked off into the distance again. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I know Dad did his best, but…."

Sam knew where Dean was going, but decided his brother needed to say it himself.

"I don't want my kid to grow up the way we did. I want him or her to have a home, go to school….Have friends. And I want to keep the shit we deal with away from the kid for as long as possible."

"Don't keep secrets, Dean," Sam warned, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt a lump in his throat.

Sam watched his brother from the corner of his eye. Dean turned toward him with a mixture of sympathy and something Sam couldn't quite place. Sam knew that Dean was well aware of how he felt about their fathers' secrecy over the years. Sam also knew that Dean understood that was what ended up driving a wedge between him and their father and what led Sam to strike out on his own.

"Sam –"

"I'm okay, Dean, just….Don't keep secrets."

_tbc_


	2. Chapter 2

**Choices**

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better - King Whitney Jr.

oooOOOooo

Sam let Dean go back to the cottage alone, telling him that he wanted to do some research in the library of the main house. He had good intentions to look for ways to protect the baby, but what he ended up doing was sitting on a couch in the large room staring at a book without really seeing it.

He knew this really wasn't about him, but Sam couldn't help but think about how everything he knew was going to change. What was he going to do if Dean decided to stop hunting to stay in Mountain Ridge? He would understand, but where would that leave him? With the yellow-eyed demon still out there, Sam didn't think he could just walk away. He knew Dean wouldn't want him hunting alone, but he didn't have to work on other jobs. Maybe he could just focus on finding the demon that killed their mother and Jessica.

Sam tried to ignore the twinge of envy that he felt. He still missed Jessica; he still thought about the life they wanted to have together and the children they'd talked about having. Dean was getting what Sam had wanted while he was left to fight his destiny. He was afraid to get close to another woman and he couldn't imagine having children if there was even the slightest possibility that he might turn evil. Sam had resigned himself to the life of a hunter, but he couldn't help feeling a little jealous that Dean might be able to break away from it even though he'd never wanted to.

It wasn't that Sam hated hunting. He didn't and he never had. What he'd hated was his father's secrecy and expectation that his orders be followed blindly. Sam felt good about the people he and his family had helped over the years and he was proud of the work they had done.

And, if Sam was being completely honest with himself, he wondered how it would feel for him not to be the number one focus in his brother's life. He pushed that thought away and chastised himself for giving it even a little attention.

---

Kristine was still sleeping when Dean got back, so he settled in the living room with his cell phone and called Bobby Singer.

As he listened to the phone ring, Dean realized that he missed his father and wanted to talk to Bobby not only as a demon expert, but as a friend. There was still a lot about Kristine's news to wrap his head around and, even though Bobby didn't have children of his own, he was the only authority figure left for Dean to turn to.

Dean sighed when he got Bobby's voicemail and he left a message asking for a return call. With Kristine asleep and Sam researching, Dean was alone with his thoughts. He paced around the living room for a few minutes, then sat back down on the couch.

He thought about what he'd said to Sam about not having anything to offer a child. He lived off of credit card fraud and gambling, but Kristine's money was more than enough to give the baby everything it would need. In fact, she'd offered to help the brothers out financially over the years, but they only occasionally accepted it. Before her death, Kristine's mother had even set up an untraceable credit card for John to use, but he had rarely taken advantage of it.

Dean remembered the pain in Sam's voice when he'd warned him not to keep secretes from the child. He knew that was the major reason for the wedge that had been driven between Sam and their father; Sam had questioned everything because he wanted to understand. He hated the secrecy. It wasn't because he didn't trust their father, but Sam had always been inquisitive. He was too smart for his own good and just wanted to understand why the family did what they did.

And what if Kristine's fears that the baby wouldn't be safe weren't unfounded? They didn't talk about it often, but the brothers knew what their father had believed. Somehow Sam was tied to the demon that had killed their mother. Their dad never blamed him; it certainly wasn't the fault of a six-month old baby that a demon had come into their lives, but that didn't change the fact that he was still involved in some way. Would the demon target this new Winchester as well?

And what about Kristine's family? Her sister and nephew had been killed by the same monster; her mother and ultimately her brother-in-law as well. Was that a double curse on any child they had together? And would Dean come back one day to find Kristine pinned to the ceiling?

Dean didn't want to think about another innocent child being dragged into hunting. Like Sam, he was proud of what they did and felt good about the people they helped, but their childhoods had been so hard. Of course, Dean had no intention of taking this child out on the road. He may not keep the reality of the supernatural a secret, but that didn't mean he had to immerse the kid in the life. If he did decide to keep hunting, Dean knew that Mountain Ridge would have to be his home base. He couldn't let Sam go out on his own; he was an accomplished and well-trained hunter, but it was Dean's job to look out for him. That didn't change just because he had someone else to take care of now, too.

He was worried about Sam's reaction. It was subdued, even for Sam. But what did Dean expect? It wasn't like this was planned and their lives were already so far from normal…. Technically this was not a good thing, though despite everything, Dean was having a hard time thinking of it as a tragedy.

Dean sighed to himself; he didn't want to think any more. If he hadn't been scared enough already, the ideas that were occurring to him now would done it. He just wanted it all to stop for a while; he wanted to think of the positive aspects of having a baby, but he was too afraid of what might be in store for it and too afraid that he would be a horrible father.

A few minutes later, Dean walked upstairs and stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Kristine had burrowed under the blankets and only the top of her head was visible. It wasn't particularly cold in the room and she did the same thing in the summer, so there was no reason for any concern. A flood of emotion poured over him as he watched her sleep.

Every time that he'd started to analyze their relationship in the past, he would tell himself it was too complicated or that she was just someone comfortable to spend time with, but he always knew it was more. He was in love with her and if it was possible, he wanted to have a life with her. He might not have let himself think that way if it hadn't been for the pregnancy, but that really was going to change everything.

A lot can happen in a few hours, Dean reflected. He hadn't known that morning that he was going to be a father, but already his entire way of thinking was changing.

Dean walked into the room quietly and kicked off his shoes as he slipped out of his coat. A moment later, he got into bed with Kristine, gently putting an arm around her and pressing up against her back. She leaned against him.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't; I was just dozing. I should get up."

"Not yet," he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just want to lay here with you for a few minutes."

Dean felt Kristine relax against him and he let his mind drift, but this time he managed to push away all the negativity and concentrated on the good things. Or, at least the things that didn't scare him as much.

---

It wasn't intentional, but Sam didn't see Kristine until the next day. He was sitting in the kitchen of the cottage when Kristine came downstairs in the morning. His sudden discomfort came as a surprise.

"Hey," she smiled walking past him and pulling a small mug from a cabinet.

"Hey," he said. A moment later she sat down across from him. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but he thought she might be feeling uncomfortable as well.

"I hope you don't mind that I made coffee," he said, putting aside the book he'd been reading.

"Have I ever?" she smiled over the mug. "Should I tell you it's decaf?"

"That explains a lot," he laughed.

"There's real coffee at the main house."

"I've never seen it so packed up there," Sam commented.

"It's been a while. At first I was afraid something was going on, but it seems like everyone is here randomly. I think there are two or three leaving today."

Sam nodded, already considering moving up to the main house.

"So, uh, I guess Dean is still asleep?" Sam asked after a moment.

"Yeah. I don't think he got much sleep last night. I heard him get up around midnight and I'm not sure what time he came back to bed. I imagine he's pretty freaked."

"He didn't come into my room," Sam said.

"Are you sure you're okay in that little room?"

"I'm fine. But I was thinking I'd move up to the main house once there's room. I –"

"Sam." Kristine put the mug down and looked at him. "I know Dean told you and I really hope you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sam asked, forcing a smile.

"Come on, Sam. This baby is going to affect your life, too."

"I'm just the uncle," he shrugged.

"Sam, you're not _just_ anything. You're Dean's brother and I know how close you two are. I want you to know that I've never tried to come between you and I'm not going to try now. Besides, it would be impossible."

Sam let down his guard. This was _Kristine_. They had had too many conversations over the years and he'd shared too much with her – she'd helped him through a very difficult time after the demon killed his girlfriend and more than once, she'd helped to bridge some gap that had developed between him and Dean. He couldn't explain why he'd felt uncomfortable, but he pushed the feeling away.

"I'm not going to put any demands on Dean," Kristine continued. "I want him to be a part of this baby's life, I want you to be a part of it, but that's up to the two of you."

"You know Dean isn't going to walk away from his kid. And he's not going to walk away from you."

Kristine said nothing and Sam wasn't sure how to read her expression.

"I guess I'm a little freaked out, too," Sam admitted.

"There's a lot of that going around."

"Are you okay?"

"I've had a whole week to get used to the idea. I'm a little ahead of you two."

Sam laughed. "Very little."

"Yeah…." She looked thoughtful. "This isn't something I would have planned and I'm scared. Not just because of the normal things, you know, what every parent is worried and scared about, but something about this just feels so right."

Sam nodded. He didn't understand what she meant about it feeling right, but he wanted to know more about what was scaring her. He had an idea.

"You're worried about the demon," Sam said, matter of fact.

Sam saw Kristine nod, but noticed she wasn't looking at him. He felt an overwhelming sadness brought on by a myriad of things that seemed to occur to him simultaneously. "The demon marked me, so maybe it will mark a new Winchester."

"That's not what I meant," Kristine glanced at him briefly. "At least….not exactly. I don't know what you mean that you were marked, but our families were certainly drawn into this thing – _both_ of our families."

Sam looked at her. "I just….I know. But if it helps any, we know more than we did when our families were originally touched by that bastard. And….well, Dean and I are going to do everything we can to make sure that you and the baby are safe."

Kristine looked at him; her eyes glistening with tears. He wanted to walk the short distance to where she was standing and put his arms around her to comfort her, but he stopped himself and couldn't explain why.

"I want us to be okay, Sam," she said after a moment. "You mean a lot to me."

Sam looked into his mug for a moment, then back to Kristine. "I feel the same way."

---

Kristine had three patients scheduled before noon. Between the nausea that had started on her drive to Asheville and her concern over the conversation with Sam before leaving Mountain Ridge, she had a hard time concentrating. She was glad to retreat to the solitude of her office once the last patient of the morning was gone.

She didn't need the money she earned from the clinic, but she enjoyed the work and felt lucky that her supervisor was so sympathetic of her circumstances. He didn't know about her life with the hunters, but he knew that most of the members of her family had died tragically and that she'd suffered with depression since her sister's death.

Sitting behind her desk, Kristine realized she wouldn't be coming back to the clinic full-time; at least not any time soon. She had already decided that she wouldn't try to combine a career with motherhood for the time being. She would still help take care of the hunters that came to the estate, but she had decided to give up the job in Asheville.

She looked around the small room, decorated with standard office fare with only a few personal items scattered around. Some of the counselors saw patients in their offices, but Kristine worked primarily with children and teenagers, so she chose to use the playroom instead. It was stocked with toys for the younger ones as well as items for the older ones.

Considering how much time she spent around kids, she had never really considered having one. She'd been told that physically it would be improbable she would ever conceive, but even adoption had seemed an unlikely option for her. Of course without a steady male in her life, she'd never seen any reason to even think about the possibility. Her knowledge of the supernatural and the choice that she'd made to help fight the evil she knew existed also kept her from thinking about being a mother. The main reason, though, was the depression; she still considered her mental condition unstable.

It hadn't taken long to get used to being pregnant or to the idea of what having a child would mean, but she was still afraid that she wouldn't be able to handle being a mother. There were powerful triggers that could cause a mental collapse as they had in the past; she was still in counseling and knew that she probably would be for a long time to come. Angela, her counselor was an expert in adult self-mutilation and even better for Kristine, she was also aware of the supernatural. It wasn't something she'd dedicated her life to like the hunters or the people who supported them, but knowing the truth of how Kristine's family died meant that she didn't have to hide anything during their sessions.

Kristine had called Angela before meeting Lori in Charlotte and they'd talked about some of her fears over the pregnancy, but Kristine knew that no amount of talking or speculation about how she would handle motherhood was going to make her feel any more secure. There was no way to tell if she would be able to handle the anniversaries of the deaths any better than she had before, but having Angela in her corner was a huge comfort. Besides, Kristine kept telling herself, it had only been a week since she found out that her entire life was going to change. That was a lot for anyone to get used to.

---

Dean woke up, but wasn't particularly interested in getting out of bed. That wasn't like him, but he wasn't used to the kind of stress he'd been under since arriving in North Carolina. He could fight monsters all day and all night, but he wasn't very good with life-altering decisions.

He knew Kristine was at work and since the house was quiet, he assumed Sam had gone out or was hold up in the little bedroom downstairs with a book. He rolled onto his back and threw one arm over his eyes. He wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew that was unlikely to happen. A few minutes later his bladder made it impossible to stay in bed any longer.

His cell phone started to ring as he came out of the bathroom. He saw Bobby's name on the caller ID display.

"Hey, Bobby."

"Dean, I just got your message."

"Where have you been? I called yesterday, man."

"What are you? My mother?" Bobby's tone was light.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was helping to catalog some artifacts out in the middle of nowhere. They were in a cabin that a bunch of vampires had been using."

"Find anything interesting?'

"All kinds of stuff, but most of it I haven't figured out yet. You and Sam all right? Where are you?"

"North Carolina; Kristine's place. We're okay. I – uh – I need to talk to you."

"That's what you said in the message. What's up?"

Dean sat on the side of the bed and ran a hand over his short-cropped hair. "I…."

He wasn't sure how to tell Bobby about the baby. He was suddenly afraid of the man's disapproval; he knew that would hurt almost as bad as his father's would have.

"What is it, Dean?" Bobby asked, his voice gentle.

"I need your help with something to protect Kristine and the….Bobby, she's pregnant."

There was silence on the other end and Dean held his breath, waiting.

"She all right?" he asked after a few moments.

Dean closed his eyes, relieved not to hear any recrimination in Bobby's voice.

"Yeah. We, uh…." Dean felt a surge of emotion, suddenly aware of not only how much he missed his father, but how tired he was of being responsible. For most of his life he'd been in charge of Sam and had to make all the decisions. He loved his brother without limit and would do anything for him, but he really wanted – needed – someone…He needed his dad.

"Dean?"

"She's fine," he said, forcing himself to speak. "We're both just a little worried about, well, a lot of things, I guess."

"The demon."

"Yeah."

"If we knew how to protect against the….lemme see what I can come up with. So, how are you doin'?"

"I'm somewhere between numb and freaked all to hell."

"I bet. I feel like I should have some advice for you, but I'm a little out of my league here."

"Are you mad or disappointed in me?" Dean was surprised he'd allowed himself to think that, let alone let the words come out of his mouth.

"Why would I be? Dean, you're a good person. One of the best I know. I just wish you saw yourself like other people did."

"I don't know how to be a father, man."

"Yeah, you do. I can't say from experience, but I'd say that it's a lot like being a big brother."

Dean couldn't force a response.

"Look, let me see what I can come up with for protection. You're doing all the normal stuff, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good. I'll give you a call later today, okay?"

"Thanks, Bobby."

oooOOOooo

"It's going well so far."

"So far."

"She told him and he didn't bolt."

"Did you expect him to?"

The two demons had been in the rundown bar for almost two hours. They spoke in hushed tones even though it wasn't really necessary because most of the other people in the bar were possessed by their allies. There could have been be a strange vibe in the room, but if the humans felt it, they didn't react.

The female sat back in her chair. "No, but so many things can go wrong. I'm still not sure I like this plan. Do you think _he_ knows about the baby yet?"

"I'm sure _he _does," the male smiled. "But _he_ doesn't know we had anything to do with it."

"We have to defeat _him_. This stupid war has gone on too long." She sighed. "I just don't understand why it was so important that Dean have a child."

"Dean loves his brother and that's one reason it's been so hard for us to get to him. We've tried, but Dean always manages to save him. And since we're not allowed to hurt Dean, we needed to make sure Dean had something he would love as much as he loves Sam. As much as he cares for that woman, she's no competition for the brother. Now, Plan A is that we make the baby our champion, as Azazel has chosen Sam as his. While we're going after his child, Dean won't be able to protect Sam and we'll take him. Or, if he chooses to protect Sam, we still have the child as our champion and Azazel is left with no one."

"It still seems like a dangerous plan."

"Going up against Azazel is always dangerous."

_tbc_


	3. Chapter 3

**Choices**

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them... they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight. Orison Swett Marden

oooOOOooo

A couple of weeks passed without significant incident; Kristine and the brothers fell into an uncomfortable sort of rhythm that none of them were willing to talk about. Bobby had found stronger protection symbols that didn't take Sam long to add to the ones already on the walls of the estate house and the cottage. The older hunter also had a lead on an amulet that he thought would help when Kristine wasn't on the grounds.

Kristine was in Asheville for a few hours every day in addition to the time she spent at the estate house. Sam never seemed to have trouble finding something to do; he was content to spend hours in the library at the main house. Dean worked on the Impala for a couple of days; doing the serious maintenance he'd put off for too long. Once that was finished and every weapon had been inspected and cleaned, he found himself wandering.

He read all of the latest issues of his favorite car magazines, he watched a few movies he hadn't had time to see before, and he even did some handyman type work around the house. But after a few days, he was having trouble keeping himself occupied. He tried not to bother his brother. Sam seemed so content reading, but after spending so many years in close proximity, Dean missed him when he wasn't around.

Dean and Kristine had not talked about the future. They weren't making any plans; it was almost like she wasn't even pregnant and even the nausea seemed to have passed. But just because they weren't talking about it didn't mean Dean wasn't thinking about the future. He knew he couldn't go on the way he had been the last few days. Down time was great, but he needed something to do.

---

Neither Dean nor Kristine had wanted him to, but once the estate house cleared out a little, Sam took over one of the rooms. He always tried to give Dean and Kristine their privacy, but this trip, it seemed even more important to do so. Though if he was completely honest, he'd have no choice but to admit that he did feel a little uncomfortable when the three of them were together and he had been trying to avoid such situations.

Sam looked up from his laptop when he heard a knock on the closed bedroom door.

"Sam, it's me."

Sam put the laptop aside. "Come in."

Dean opened the door and looked uneasy as he walked into the room. "Hey."

"Hey, what's up?" Sam asked.

Dean shrugged, moving around the room. "Nothin;, I just….I haven't seen you since yesterday morning, man. Where have you been?"

"Here," Sam said, glancing away. "I just….So, Kristine's at work?"

"Yeah. You wanna do something tonight?" Dean asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"With you guys?"

"No, just you and me. I…." Dean stood up and walked to the window across the room. He stood with his back to Sam. "Why is this so hard?"

Sam watched as Dean turned around and leaned against the window sill, his expression somewhere between anxious and afraid.

"Dean, I—"

"You're avoiding me," Dean said sadly. "Why?"

"I'm just giving you and Kristine some space," Sam said, not looking at his brother's eyes. "You have a lot to figure out."

"Yeah, well…." Dean scratched his cheek. "We aren't."

"You aren't what?"

"Figuring things out. We're not even talking about the baby. For the first few days after she told me, that's all we talked about. Now….now it's like it isn't even happening. Do you know what we did last night?"

Sam shook his head.

"She spent an hour on the phone with Lori and I ended up going to bed early. I haven't gotten so much sleep since….Hell, I doubt I've ever had this much sleep."

Sam watched as his brother paced in front of the window.

"You know, two weeks isn't really a lot of time," Sam said after a moment. "It's not like you were expecting this, or planning it. And who says you have to decide everything right now? Maybe you guys are just putting too much pressure on yourselves."

Dean looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You're trying to fit into some mold because you think you should. Kristine is probably doing the same thing. You're doing what you both _think _you should do. This baby will change your lives, but you're still fundamentally who you are."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"Think about it," Sam smiled as he swung his long legs off the bed. "I'm gonna clean up and change, then we can go somewhere."

oooOOOooo

"Did you hear?"

He looked away from the television when she rushed into the room. "Hear what?"

"Dean and the woman….they're having problems."

He turned back to the television. "You worry too much, Lucy."

"And you don't worry enough!"

"There's nothing to worry _about_."

"How can you say that, Joseph?"

"The plan doesn't hinge on them being together," he said, forcing patience. "The plan hinges on Dean loving their child as much as he loves his brother. They don't have to be together for that to happen."

"I still think we should intervene."

"Don't be crazy. We can't intervene every time something a little unexpected happens. We have to fly under the radar, here, Lucy. We don't want Azazel to find out what we're doing and the more things we do, the greater the chance that he'll find out."

Lucy stood up; Joseph could feel the anger coming from her. "Fine."

Joseph watched as she marched toward the doorway. "Where are you going?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about," she said, the sarcasm almost visibly dripping from her mouth.

oooOOOooo

"Hey," Kristine smiled when Dean walked into the bedroom late that night.

"I didn't think you'd still be up," he said, slipping out of his coat.

She put the book she'd been reading aside. "Lori called earlier and I couldn't fall asleep after we talked. I thought maybe reading might relax me."

"She called again, huh?" Dean walked into the half bath and didn't see Kristine's disapproving expression. He came back into the bedroom a few minutes later. "What did you guys talk about?"

"She's going to be in town this weekend."

"Great," he said without conviction as he crawled into bed.

"So, how was your night? How's Sam doing?"

Dean glanced at Kristine's face; her expression was neutral and he got the feeling she was forcing herself to be pleasant.

"He's all right. It's kind of weird having to arrange to see him; I'm used to him being around."

Kristine made a noncommittal noise and reached for the bedside lamp.

Dean didn't like the way the room felt; it wasn't comfortable and he didn't feel particularly welcome. He was glad the room was dark and he couldn't see Kristine's face. He knew that his arrival couldn't have been a surprise. Mountain Ridge was a fairly quiet place, and the cottage was far enough away from town that any noise coming from there didn't reach it. The Impala's engine normally announced his arrival anyway. If she hadn't wanted to deal with him, she could have pretended to be asleep.

He lay on his back, wondering what he should do. He and Kristine had spent more than two weeks together before without having any problems, but, he realized as he was talking to Sam earlier, those times had been voluntary. Dean wanted to be with her now, but the pregnancy changed everything. He felt an obligation to be with her and Sam had suggested that was the very reason things seemed so forced between them now.

Kristine shifted and Dean was surprised when she maneuvered herself so that his arm was under her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and gently rested one arm over his stomach. Dean knew they needed to talk, but that wasn't his forte and he didn't want to start a conversation now. It was late, he was tired and things seemed all right for the moment. He could pretend they were, anyway.

---

"Are things any better?" Lori asked Kristine.

Kristine had driven to the Asheville airport after her last appointment on Friday afternoon to pick her friend up. They planned to have an early dinner together in the city before going to Mountain Ridge.

"They aren't bad," Kristine said. "Exactly."

"That isn't the impression I've gotten in our phone calls."

Kristine glanced at Lori as she merged into traffic. "Then you've gotten the wrong impression."

"All right," Lori said. "Then tell me what impression I should have gotten."

"Things are….different."

"Well, duh, Kristine. Pregnancy tends to change a relationship."

"Are you going to bust my chops all weekend?" Kristine was annoyed.

"Only if you need me to."

"Screw you," Kristine said, a smile on her face. She was glad for her friend's company and knew that Lori only wanted the best for her.

"Have you guys talked any more?" Lori asked after a moment.

"Not really. We've had a lot of sex, though. That's got to count for something."

"Isn't that what got you into this situation in the first place?"

"True enough," Kristine laughed. "Hey, you want to go to that Italian place out on the highway?"

"Nice way to change the subject," Lori noted.

Kristine said nothing, putting on her turn signal to change lanes. They continued in a comfortable silence until they were in the restaurant and had placed drink orders. Normally they would have ordered a bottle of their favorite wine, but in addition to caffeinated coffee, Kristine had given up alcohol when she found out she was pregnant. She probably should have done it when she went back on the antidepressants, but the occasional beer or glass of wine didn't seem to interfere with the medication.

"Okay, so you haven't talked to Dean about what you want," Lori said, taking a breadstick from the basket the waitress had left in the middle of the table. "Have you thought about it?"

"I adore him, you know. I always miss him when he was gone, but I'm used to being on my own. And I know he's bored out of his mind. He's done every bit of maintenance on the car possible – I swear to God, he's going to rebuild the Impala again just because he can. He's cleaned the weapons at least twice that I know of and he even patched some things up around the cottage. I didn't even know he knew how to do that stuff. And Sam….he's content in the library at the main house, but even he's reaching his limit of a home life."

"You want them to leave?"

Kristine took a breadstick and broke it in half. "I don't want Dean to feel like he has to stay around all the time. He grew up on the road; that's all he knows. I don't want him to end up resenting me. And honestly? I don't think he _wants_ to be around all the time. I think he wants to keep hunting, but he thinks he shouldn't."

"Okay, hold on. You're a good counselor and you read people very well, but you can't just make assumptions about what Dean wants or feels. Maybe you're right; maybe you're wrong. Bottom line is you guys have _got_ to talk about this or you're going to make each other crazy. Stop walking on egg shells around each other. And hell, it's not like you were on your way to holy matrimony before you got pregnant."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh please. Did you ever once think about marrying Dean?"

"Who the hell was talking about marriage?" Kristine asked, feeling a sudden coldness in the pit of her stomach. "We're just trying to figure out how to coexist. Or how to be okay not coexisting. No one said anything about getting _married_. Jesus, Lori."

"You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"Do you want them to leave?"

Kristine sighed and looked at the pile on her plate that had once been a breadstick. "I don't want them to leave permanently, but I don't want Dean around all the time. Is that terrible?"

Lori smiled. "No, of course not. But, girlfriend, you have got to be honest with him about that. And if you're right, he'll be relieved."

oooOOOooo

Lucy sat at a table near Lori and Kristine. She didn't have to even be in the same room to hear what they were talking about if she didn't want to be, but sometimes it was just more fun. Joseph may not think there was anything to worry about, but she thought it was that lax attitude that had kept her side down for so long. Azazel, the demon who had killed countless young mothers, including Mary Winchester, worried over all of the details. He may not have found the champion to lead his army, but that wasn't due to lack of attention to detail.

---

"Where did you go?" Joseph was coming from the second story of the house where they were living when Lucy walked in.

They'd taken over these bodies nearly a year ago, along with the lives the humans had been living; at least parts of them. As demons, they didn't really need to work, but there was more to possession than simply controlling a body.

"Just out. I told you it was nothing to worry about."

He looked at her, suspicious of her actions. "Were you watching the woman? Or Dean, maybe?"

"There's nothing wrong with watching," she said tossing her coat across the recliner in the den.

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear you say that."

Lucy returned the smile. "Have you been busy while I was out?"

Joseph held out a hand. When Lucy took it, he led her upstairs.

"Well, now." Lucy walked into the bedroom and smiled appreciatively. "You've outdone yourself."

He stood just inside the door, looking appreciatively at the woman lying in the middle of the king-sized bed that dominated the room. She was naked and lying on her stomach, a satiated smile on her face as she dozed.

"Where did you get her from?" Lucy asked, running a hand over the woman's arm.

"Far enough away that no one here knows her."

The woman's eyes opened, but instead of being startled to see Lucy sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, she smiled. Joseph moved further into the room, but stayed out of the woman's line of sight. Between the drugs she'd taken before he found her and his influence, she was beyond being scared. He and Lucy could spend the night doing whatever they wanted with and to her; she wouldn't mind any of it.

Lucy caressed the woman's long black hair gently, then leaned in for a kiss.

No, Joseph thought, there's nothing wrong with watching.

oooOOOooo

Sam was still avoiding spending time with Dean and Kristine, but he missed his brother. He felt like a jerk for doing it, but he couldn't help it. He was feeling things he wasn't used to and didn't think he should be feeling, but besides that, he was restless. He wanted a gig; he wanted to be back on the road. He was surprised to realize that he wanted things the way they had been before finding out he was going to be an uncle.

"Dean?" Sam walked into the cottage, knowing Kristine was coming home late. "Hey, Dean?"

His brother came from the second floor. "Hey, I was gonna pick you up."

"Yeah, I know. I was ready; figured I'd just walk."

"Well, let's head out, then."

Sam followed his brother outside to the Impala.

"You're still avoiding me, Sammy," Dean said once they'd settled in a both at Mojo's, the bar and grill in town. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

Sam was taken aback by his brother's directness.

"I told you before, man; I'm just giving you guys space." He avoided Dean's eyes.

"There's more to it than that," Dean said with a knowing tone to his voice. "I can't do this without you, Sammy. And….well, I kinda miss my geeky little brother."

"You talk to Kristine that openly?"

Dean straightened up in the seat. "Don't change the subject."

"Dean, come on. I…" he sighed when he saw the look on his brother's face. Sam hadn't realized his actions were causing Dean so much pain. "I'm sorry I haven't been around. And yeah, you're right, I've been avoiding you."

A waitress they both knew came to the table with their usual beer and a bowl of chips. There was some small talk before she walked away to get the dinner menus Sam asked for. When they were alone again, Sam looked at his brother. Dean wore a carefully constructed mask, but Sam knew him better than anyone else and was able to see the hurt behind it. He felt horrible.

"I'm sorry," he said, both hand wrapped around the beer bottle.

"Do you even want to be here now?" Dean's voice was quiet.

"Dean…."

"I'm serious, Sam. Because if you don't want to be –"

"Stop it. Can we just talk about this? You're the one who asked what was going on."

"Yeah, you're right."

Sam wasn't sure if he'd ever heard Dean sound so down before; and that was saying a lot.

"I am sorry," the younger man reiterated. "I know I've been acting like a jerk and not being at all supportive. I just…."

"What?" Dean asked after a moment.

"I….This isn't easy to say and there's no way I'm going to come off looking good."

Dean smiled at him. "I like it so far."

"Nice, Dean."

"Come on, Sammy; just tell me."

"I'm jealous," Sam said with considerable effort.

"Jealous?"

"I know it's not what you were planning and I know it's a huge complication in an already complicated life, but….it just makes me realize how much I still miss Jessica."

"I'm sorry," Dean said, his voice full of emotion. If anyone knew how much Jessica had meant to Sam, it was his brother. Dean had been there for the nightmares and everything else that Sam went through following his girlfriend's death.

Sam nodded, struggling to maintain some composure. "And I've been thinking about what Dad told you – that if you couldn't save me, you'd have to kill me. I –"

"That's not gonna happen, Sam. You're not going to turn evil."

"It's not just that. Jessica is dead. So is Madison. They're both dead because of me."

"That's not true. Madison had been turned into a werewolf before you even met her. And don't give me any crap about being the one who killed her. She asked you to do it because she didn't want to be a monster. And the _demon_ killed Jessica. Besides, Sarah isn't dead and you had feelings for her."

Sam rubbed his face. "We're getting a little off topic here. The point is, I've been wallowing in my own stuff and not being there for you. I'm sorry."

He didn't like the way Dean was looking at him. It was almost as if he knew that Sam still wasn't being completely honest.

"Look, Sam," Dean said after a brief hesitation. "This is your life, too. Things are going to change for all of us."

Sam nodded.

"Anything else?" Dean asked, as if he already knew the answer.

Sam swallowed some beer. "Only if I'm being a hundred percent honest."

"Hit me."

"I…." he looked away. "I'm scared that things will change between you and me."

When Sam turned back to his brother, he saw understanding on his face. Somehow Dean had already figured out that Sam was feeling threatened.

"Some things might change," Dean admitted. "But we'll always be brothers.."

Sam had to blink away the tears. He held up the beer and Dean clinked his bottle against it.

"Now get that dumbass idea out of your head," Dean said, clearly to lighten the mood.

---

It was almost 9:30 when Dean's cell phone rang. He and Sam had left Mojo's and were back at the cottage, watching a movie.

"Hey, sweetie," Kristine said, her Southern accent more pronounced than usual. "How's it going?"

"Fine. How about you?"

"We've been hanging out in a country karaoke bar; how about you guys driving over here?"

"For country karaoke?"

"For me singing country karaoke."

"Are you drunk?" Dean laughed.

"Normally that would be a valid question, but you know better. Come on, darlin'. Lori and I are gonna sing a kick ass country song and I know how much you like country music."

"Right. Do I have time to grab my boots and hat?"

"Just get your ass out here."

---

"Kristine sings karaoke?" Sam asked, not for the first time, as Dean drove toward Asheville.

"She and Lori have gone a few rounds before. It usually involves tequila, though."

"You ever hear her?"

"I've heard her sing, but not in a bar."

"She any good?"

"She sings country songs."

"Besides that," Sam said, knowing his brother's dislike for that particular genre of music.

"Yeah, she's all right."

"Kristine sings karaoke?" Sam asked again a few minutes later.

"It's a strange world, Sammy."

---

The brothers got to the club just before Kristine and Lori's first song. They ended up doing three more and Sam had to admit they weren't bad. Dean even liked one of the songs they performed, but would never admit it. The foursome left the karaoke bar not long after the performance and went to a quiet coffee shop to relax before heading to Mountain Ridge. Sam was feeling more comfortable; he knew part of that was having finally gotten things out in the open with his brother, but it also helped to have a fourth person in the group.

Kristine rode home Dean while Sam drove her car back to the estate. He and Lori had discovered that they recently read the same book and continued their conversation about it on the drive. There were no romantic feelings between them at all, but they were finding out they had quite a bit in common.

Lori had stated her preference to stay at the estate house before she even got into town and since there was room, Kristine's protest landed on deaf ears. Lori wanted to give Kristine and Dean privacy, but she also enjoyed being around the hunters. Some of them scared her, but they always had good stories. There was nothing quite like late night drinks or morning coffee with a group of hunters.

_tbc_


	4. Chapter 4

**Choices**

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: Thanks to everyone sticking with this story. I know it's not my usual kind of thing, but I promise it will be worth it in the end. We get a little action in this chapter….well, Dean's been getting action, but this time it's different, LOL.

oooOOOooo

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow - Charlotte Bronte

oooOOOooo

Despite going to sleep late, Dean was up at sunrise the next morning. He watched Kristine for a few minutes, then showered and got dressed. After checking on Kristine again, Dean headed to the main house, hoping the gym would be unoccupied so early in the morning.

He'd had a good time the night before; listening to country music aside. It felt like it used to; he and Kristine having fun and not just pretending. Well, there it was. Without even thinking about it, he'd figured out what had been wrong for the last couple of weeks. He and Kristine were pretending….at least he was. Dean angrily attacked the weight training equipment.

Half an hour later, he was worn out, having pushed himself harder than he should have. He was resting on a weight bench, a bottle of water in his hand, when Sam walked in.

---

"Hey, you're here early," Sam said. He noticed the look on his brother's face and knew something was wrong. "What's up?"

"Nothin'," he grumbled.

Sam looked at him as he got ready for the workout he suspected wouldn't be happening. "Last night was fun."

"Yeah," Dean swallowed some of the water.

"Kristine and Lori are pretty good."

"Yeah."

"Lori's pretty interesting."

"You like her?"

"Not that way. She's fun to talk to; we have a lot in common."

He saw Dean nod.

"Something happen after we split up?" Sam ventured.

"No," Dean said quietly.

"This morning?"

"Sam."

The younger man recognized the tone as the one Dean used when on the surface he didn't want to talk about something, but wouldn't mind a little pushing. Sam sat down on the single bench in the room. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh…." Dean tossed the empty water bottle across the room. "Damnit, I just want to get in the car and drive really fast, stopping just to kill some evil sonofabitch."

"You and Kristine didn't have a fight?"

Dean shook his head. "I just want to get out of here for a few days."

"There's a job…. I heard some hunters talking in the kitchen a few minutes ago and –"

"What's the job?"

"A small nest of vampires in a town about 200 miles east of here. They're leaving in a couple of hours."

"Could they use a hand?"

Sam looked at him, not sure if he should encourage Dean.

"There's never too big a group for vampires, I guess."

"You wanna go?"

"Dean…." He looked away for a moment. "If you want to do this to avoid Kristine…."

"It's not that. I on, man. We'll be back tomorrow. And with Lori here, it's not like we'll be spending much time together anyway. Come on, Sammy. Let's go kill us some vamps."

Sam still wasn't sure what his role should be, but he didn't put it past Dean to take off without him. At least if he went along, he could keep Dean from doing anything too reckless. Probably.

Sam nodded. "All right."

Dean smiled at him. "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

Sam nodded. "Get cleaned up and I'll see if those guys are still in the kitchen."

---

Dean took his second shower of the morning at the estate house. He was just walking into the kitchen when Kristine came through the back door. He immediately felt guilty.

"Hey, you were out of the house early." She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep and figured I'd get a workout in."

"Have you seen Lori?" she asked, taking two small bottles of orange juice from the refrigerator.

Dean took the bottle she offered and sat at the table. "Thanks. No, I haven't seen her."

"We're going shopping this afternoon. Damn, that girl loves to shop. Why don't you and Sam think about meeting us for dinner tonight?"

Dean looked away. "Uh, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course," she sat across from him. "What's up?"

"There are a couple of hunters….they're going after some vampires and…"

"You want to go along."

"Will you be mad if I go?"

"Mad?" she smiled. "Of course not. And since when do you need my permission?"

"Well…."

"Go," she said. There was no anger in her voice. In fact, Dean suspected he heard relief. "Kill yourself some vampires."

"I'm not running out on you."

She nodded. "I know."

"I'll be back. Probably tomorrow."

She nodded again.

"You sure you're not mad?"

"You promise you'll be careful?"

"I'm always careful, darlin'."

"We both know that's bullshit," she smiled.

Dean shrugged. Kristine wasn't wrong, but he was generally reckless only when Sam was in danger.

oooOOOooo

"He's going after vampires!"

Joseph looked at Lucy as she walked into the bar, ranting. It wasn't even afternoon, but time was irrelevant to demons.

"I told you before, Lucy, his relationship with the woman doesn't matter in the end."

"How can you say that? He'll bond with the baby better if he's with Kristine."

"You need to stop reading those psychology books."

"Those books help me understand humans and you need to listen to me. It's important that we keep them together."

When Joseph sighed, Lucy went behind the bar and poured a shot of whiskey. Alcohol didn't have the same affect on demons as it did humans, but Lucy enjoyed the taste of it. Joseph watched her as she drank the whiskey and poured a second shot. They'd been together for a very long time and he was used to her overreactions, but he was beginning to wonder if she didn't have a point this time. Lucy did spend a lot of time studying humans and maybe she knew what she was talking about.

"Bring me a beer and let's talk about this."

Lucy set the drink on the table in front of him and sat down. They were alone in the bar for now, but probably not for long. The demons had completely taken it over and there were few hours when it wasn't occupied.

After a long, thoughtful swallow from the bottle, Joseph sat back in his chair. "We can't artificially keep them together. You know that."

"Yes, but we can…._influence_ things so that they are together."

"True. But if we do that carelessly, we could ruin the whole plan. We both know what kind of man Dean is. He'll love that child no matter what."

"I agree, but will he love it enough if he's not there during the pregnancy or for the birth?"

"Love it enough? Either he chooses the child or he chooses his brother. Either way, we win."

"Joseph," she reached for his hand. "We've worked so hard to get to this point. I don't want to see anything go wrong due to carelessness. I'm afraid if Dean and Kristine are estranged….what if she doesn't go to him when we take the child? She's got a house full of hunters she can turn to; there's no guarantee she'll ask for Dean's help if they aren't together."

Joseph was thoughtful. "That's a good point, but I still think you're overreacting. Did you really expect him to stay in Mountain Ridge all the time? He's a hunter. It's not just what he does; it's what he is. It's how he was raised and he won't easily turn his back on it. Besides, if he gets himself killed, our problems are solved. _We_ can't kill him or even _influence_ his death, but if someone who isn't on our team does it…."

"Who made that idiotic deal, anyway?"

Joseph waved his hand. "It was a long time ago; before us."

"So, we don't interfere with him hunting, but we do need to make sure he and Kristine stay close."

He nodded. "Fine, yes."

Lucy sat back and smiled. "Finally."

Joseph pointed a finger at her. "But keep the rules in mind."

She nodded. "I will."

oooOOOooo

Dean turned up the radio volume then tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

"You seem happy," Sam commented.

"Why not? Got a little road trip, gonna get rid of some evil. It's a good day, Sammy."

"Kristine was okay with this?"

"She was fine," Dean glanced at him. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"No reason; just asking."

"Yeah, well…."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Okay."

"Okay," Dean nodded.

---

Dean parked the Impala behind the Tundra that the two other hunters were in. Another set of hunters had been doing reconnaissance on the nest and were already inside the diner waiting for them. After introductions and a few minutes of small talk, an older man named Kyle filled the newcomers in on what they knew.

There were at least 10 vampires living together in what had been a bed and breakfast on the edge of town. They'd been around for just over a month and several people from the town were either missing or had been found dead with mysterious wounds on their necks. The vampires were being sloppy and the hunters knew it wouldn't be long before they had to move on.

Kyle told them the place was owned by a woman in her 80's; the grandmother of one of the vampires. She apparently hadn't known what they were when she allowed them to move in. She hadn't run the building as an inn for nearly 20 years, though the county had a very competitive high school football program and she took in guests when the local school had playoff or big rival games at home.

Its being a two-story building would make things more difficult, but there were still several hours of daylight the hunters could use to use to their advantage. There were six bedrooms on the second floor and no way to tell how many were actually occupied. The first floor held a living room, kitchen and bathroom along with another couple of rooms the team hadn't been able to absolutely identify. The vampires could be anywhere.

The plan was to go in and kill as many as they could without being detected. Three would start upstairs and three on the first floor. It was a pretty standard way to handle a nest.

After leaving the diner, the hunters drove toward the boarding house. They parked in a back alley to limit the number of people that might see them. Before going inside, there was another check of weapons and Kyle made sure everyone had a container of dead man's blood. It wouldn't kill the vampires by itself, but would slow them down enough to give the hunters a level playing field.

The teams had been decided by drawing straws and Dean wasn't too happy that he and Sam would be split up. He knew his brother could handle himself, but he didn't like not being able to look out for him in case something happened.

"You take care of yourself," Dean said as he and Sam stood next to the Impala, making sure they had the weapons they wanted.

"You, too."

Dean nodded and after a few words of encouragement from Kyle, the men made their way inside.

They broke into what seemed to be a utility room and laundry facility. There were no vampires, so they continued into the kitchen. It didn't look as if it had been used recently, but vampires didn't need to eat. They could if they wanted to, as they could also drink, but it was only for appearance since it wasn't necessary for their survival. Again, there were no vampires.

The living room was decorated how Dean would have expected it to be, considering the owner was an 80-year old woman. Kyle hadn't been able to find out where she was now and the hunters agreed that she had probably been turned or killed for food. It wasn't likely the vampire who had been related to her would feel any familial responsibility toward her. The house was probably just a convenient place to stay while feeding in a town that was big enough to keep them from being noticed for a while.

Dean hung back from his group and watched as Sam made his way upstairs. It wasn't the first time they'd hunted separately, but that didn't make him feel any better. Once Sam was out of sight, Dean took another look around the living room. The other two hunters had already made their way into the hallway beyond and Dean hurried to catch up to them. He caught the signal from Kyle, who was in the lead, to veer off into one of the unidentified rooms.

The door was closed and Dean quietly turned the doorknob. He hadn't expected it to be locked, and it wasn't. Carefully pushing the door open, he saw the curtains that hung in the window were closed tightly. Vampires weren't affected by light as dramatically as the books and movies portrayed, but it definitely slowed them down and most tended to avoid it. Dean let his eyes adjust for a few moments before venturing inside any further.

The room had floor to ceiling bookshelves along two walls and comfortable looking furniture arranged around a coffee table. There was a small mahogany desk in one corner and a laptop computer that looked more than a little out of place. Dean made his way around the room carefully; making sure it was free of vampires before he went back into the hallway.

He had just closed the door when he heard a screech coming from ahead of him. The hallway took a sharp turn to the left so he wasn't able to see what caused it, but he recognized it as coming from a vampire. He moved forward quickly. The hallway opened up into a large room that was dominated by the pool table in the center. A bar had been built into the far end and Dean saw it was littered with empty alcohol bottles and glasses. He also saw a vampire had Kyle by the throat, holding him against a wall. His feet were several inches off the floor.

Dean didn't hesitate. He ran forward and plunged a blade into the monster's back while also splashing it with holy water. The machete had been laced with dead man's blood, causing the vampire immediate distress. It dropped Kyle and turned toward Dean, but could only take a few steps before the poison forced it to its knees. The holy water was burning the skin where it had landed and Dean swung the blade with enough force to decapitate it in one blow.

"You okay?" he asked Kyle, his eyes darting around the room.

"Yeah, thanks," Kyle's voice sounded raw. "Where's David?"

Dean shook his head, opening a container of blood. He wiped his machete with it quickly. "He didn't come in here with you?"

Kyle shook his head. "He went down the other fork of the hallway. Go; I'll catch up."

Dean watched him for a moment. He already had ugly bruises around his throat.

In the hallway, Dean backtracked to another closed door. Steeling himself for what was inside, he almost laughed when he opened the door and saw it was a closet. But the third hunter of his group, David, was still missing. Just beyond the door was the passage that David must have taken. Dean saw a door at the end with a window in it; it clearly led outside. The only other door had to be for the bathroom.

Dean had just opened it when he felt himself being pulled backward. He slammed into the wall behind him, his head hitting it hard enough to cause him to see stars. He willed himself not to pass out and even though his vision was blurred, he lashed out with the blade at the vague figure before him.

He felt it connect and heard the vampire scream. Dean wasted no time before swinging it again and, as his vision cleared, he saw a female vampire on the floor in front of him. She reached out with an already weakened hand and hissed. He felt blood splatter on him when he ran his blade through her neck.

Dean staggered and had to lay a hand against the wall to keep from falling down. Kyle joined him a moment later and after making sure Dean wasn't in imminent danger, he opened the door to the bathroom.

"Shit," Kyle muttered.

As Kyle went inside, Dean saw David's body lying on the floor. There was a pool of blood spreading out around him.

"Vamp ripped out his throat," Kyle said, kneeling down to examine his friend. "Probably the same one that went after you."

"We only got two of them. That leaves eight upstairs for the others to deal with. We need to go help them out."

Before they could even take a step, Kyle and Dean heard yelling and banging from the second floor. The voice wasn't distinct enough to recognize, but Dean knew his brother was upstairs and he sprinted for the stairs. He felt Kyle close behind him.

There was a battle going on at the top of the stairs; Kyle and Dean jumped in without hesitation. In a confusion of movement too fast to make much sense of, the hunters managed to gain the upper hand. There was a sudden silence as the last vampire fell. Dean leaned back against the wall, counting the corpses and looking for his brother.

"Sam!" he called. "Sammy!"

"There are only six vampires," one of the other hunters said. "How many were downstairs?"

"Two," Kyle said.

Dean straightened up and took a deep breath. Like the hallway downstairs, there was a sharp corner. He called his brother's name again as he forced himself forward. Around the corner, he stopped so quickly that Brandon, one of the other hunters, ran into him.

"Sam…."

A male vampire, bigger than any person Dean had ever seen, stood over his brother's prone body. There was blood on the floor around him, but Dean refused to focus on it. He raced forward and in one motion, grabbed the container of holy water from his pocket and tossed it toward the vampire. Dean swung the machete, cutting open the plastic bottle and splashing the monster. Water sprayed over is face, the flesh immediately burning away from the bone. The hunter didn't hesitate before moving the machete toward the vampire's neck.

Dean wasn't close enough to the vampire to effectively hit it and, although obviously in considerable pain, the thing was able to grab the blade away from him. Suddenly off balance, Dean fell against the wall and was on the floor only a moment later.

A moment too late, Brandon pulled out a gun and shot at the vampire using bullets that had been dipped in dead man's blood before loaded into the weapon. The vampire yelled as it fell to its knees; Kyle sprinted past Brandon and sliced into its neck. It took two blows to completely decapitate it.

"Dean," Brandon knelt in front of Dean and checked him for injury.

"Sam…." Dean could barely get out a whisper.

"Hold still; Kyle's got your brother."

Feeling himself being lifted and hearing Brandon's calming voice, Dean passed out.

---

Dean opened his eyes, but didn't recognize his surroundings. He knew he was lying down and his first instinct was to move, but the pain in his shoulder and his head kept him still. He could tell he wasn't in a hospital, but he smelled ammonia and rubbing alcohol. Even though he hadn't moved his head much, the room started to spin and darkness began to creep in from the sides of his vision.

"Dean?"

He couldn't see the owner of the voice, but Dean recognized it as Sam. Relief washed over him.

"Sammy…." His eyes closed; his mouth felt gummy.

A moment later he felt a hand on his arm and when he opened his eyes, he saw his brother sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Here, drink this." Sam helped him sit up and handed him a plastic water bottle.

After a few welcome sips, Dean was able to speak more easily. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah; you've been out for a while. I was getting worried."

Dean saw the bandage on Sam's neck. "You get bit?"

"No. A vampire went after me with a machete he got from the hunter he killed. It's not too bad."

Dean wouldn't believe him until he could see the wound for himself. He took a few more sips of water, then handed the bottle to his brother. He looked around what looked like a bedroom, though she still smelled hospital antiseptic. He hoped the aching he felt and the pounding in his head would pass quickly.

"Where are we?"

"A house; a guy that Kyle knows owns it. He lives about 50 miles from where we were. He was the one who turned Kyle onto the nest originally. We can talk about all that later. How do you feel?"

"I'm okay. How long have we been here?"

Dean saw the skeptical look on his brother's face, but he was grateful that Sam didn't press him. He didn't have the energy to lie again.

"We got here about three hours ago. You were pretty much out the whole time. I was thinking it might be time for a hospital when you woke up."

"This place smells like a hospital."

"Yeah. Kyle's friend is an EMT and he's got some supplies here to patch up hunters. I don't know the whole story."

"Did we get all the vampires?"

"Yeah. One made a break for it, but didn't get far," Sam looked down for a moment. "Two of us didn't make it out."

"Damn."

They were quiet for a few minutes and then Dean asked for the time.

"It's just before midnight. Are you hungry?"

Dean shook his head, immediately regretting the movement. "Where's the bathroom?"

oooOOOooo

Kristine and Lori decided to spend Saturday evening watching movies and eating junk food. Lori could see that her friend was distracted and she assumed it was because Dean had gone off on a hunt. She's stopped paying attention to the movie soon after the opening credits and she didn't think Kristine was watching any more, either.

"Do you expect to hear from Dean tonight?" Lori asked.

"Not really. They had to be done at the nest by nightfall, but Dean likes to celebrate after a successful job. He'll probably drag Sam to a bar for a few drinks."

"He knows you're here worrying and he won't call when he's done with the job?"

"Don't make it sound like he doesn't care about my feelings," Kristine warned.

"Does he care?"

Kristine looked at her friend, but Lori wasn't sure what her expression said. She shrugged, having a hard time looking Kristine in the eye.

"Do you have something on your mind?" Kristine asked after a minute.

Lori thought about her answer. She had a lot on her mind and most of it involved worry about Kristine and the baby. She liked Dean and she knew that Kristine loved him, but she'd never been concerned about their relationship before. She didn't think Kristine was overly invested; at least not in a way that was harmful to her. Kristine wasn't giving up her own life or interests for him; they were more like friends with benefits than a couple.

Would the baby change that? Should it? Were Dean and Kristine really happy with the way things were between them, or did they both just pretend because it was easier than facing reality? Lori knew there were better ways, better times, to bring these questions up, but she couldn't seem to stop herself Besides, they were alone, the lights were low and there was a fire in the fireplace. It was the perfect environment for a serious conversation.

"Do you love him?"

"What?" Kristine looked at her.

"You heard me."

"What does that even matter?"

"You're having his baby."

"I'm having his baby regardless of loving him!" Kristine exclaimed, running her hands through her light brown hair. "You're making me crazy here."

"After a successful hunt, Dean likes to celebrate in a bar. He also likes to take women to bed. You've told me that yourself. Are you okay with him doing that while you're here; pregnant with his kid and alone?"

Kristine stared at her. "Is that what this is about?"

Lori shrugged. She had no idea why she was pushing this; it was like she had no control over her mouth.

"Jesus, Lori. Seriously? That's what this is about? You're worried that Dean is off fucking some random woman? You're not worried that he was killed by a vampire, or worse?" Kristine shook her head and walked to the other side of the small room. "Are you kidding me?"

"Look, I wasn't even sure that's where I was going, but yeah. That's what I'm worried about."

Kristine turned around to look at her. "Why?"

"Why?" Lori repeated.

"Yes! Why? Why is it more important for him not to bed a stranger than for him not to be dead that the hands of some monster?"

"Because…."

"Because why?"

"Because I think you love him and you're afraid to admit it to yourself. I think you don't want him to be faithful to you just because of the baby, so you're pretending that it doesn't matter to you. I –"

"I've known Dean for how long? Five years? Five years and _now_ you're worried that I might love him?" Kristine wasn't yelling, but she wasn't being exactly quiet, either. "I'm not living in denial, Lori, I promise you that. I've spent the better part of a decade in and out of mental hospitals. I've hurt myself. I've had violent sex with men I picked up in bars. I've had way too much to drink way too many times and I've taken drugs. I may not be stable enough to raise a kid, and what has you concerned is that I might be in love with its father? Come on!"

Lori wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't even intended to have this conversation and now she felt panicked to fix things between her and Kristine. It's not like they'd never argued before, but Lori felt something was different about this time.

"I'm sorry, Kristine," she said quickly. "But I'm going to say one more thing. If you do love him, and I think you do, now is the time to make something happen. I think he probably feels the same way about you or he wouldn't keep coming around. I'm not saying you have to get married, but what's wrong with making some kind of commitment to each other? Seems like now is the perfect time."

Kristine shook her head. "It's late. I don't think either of us is interested in the movie any more and I really just want to go to sleep. Both of the spare bedrooms are made up; you can stay here instead of going back to the main house. I'll see you in the morning."

Lori watched Kristine walk up the stairs, then flipped off the television. She didn't notice the woman standing outside watching the house, a smug grin on her face.

_tbc_


	5. Chapter 5

**Choices**

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have - Frederick Keonig quotes

oooOOOooo

Dean knew there was nothing wrong with him that he couldn't diagnose himself and he didn't want some strange man examining him, even if he was an EMT, but Sam insisted. It only took Jason, Kyle's friend, a few minutes to satisfy Sam that Dean was fine except for some bruises and a bump on his head. Despite being unconscious for three hours, there were no signs of anything to be overly concerned with. Dean was pretty sure that Sam would demand more thorough testing once they got back to the estate; medical care was another service offered to any hunter who passed through.

Content to let his brother sleep, Sam settled in a room next door to him. Dean had been surprised to hear that Sam hadn't thought to call Kristine to let her know they were all right, but it wasn't exactly a regular habit of Dean's, either. As he drifted off to sleep, he wondered if that was something that needed to change.

When he woke up the next morning, the first thing Dean saw was his brother. He was sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair with a ridiculously large mug that probably contained coffee.

"How long have you been awake?" Dean grumbled as he got out of bed. When Sam made a move to help him, Dean gave him a look meant to change his mind. Sam stayed where he was.

"Not long," the younger man answered.

"I'm going to the bathroom. You can tell me the truth when I get back." Dean made his way down the hallway, aware that nearly every part of his body hurt. He wanted coffee and a hot shower, but he wasn't sure in what order. His decision seemed made for him when he saw his duffle bag on the floor next to the bath tub.

When he got back to the bedroom, dressed in clean clothes and feeling somewhat better after standing under a hot shower for what seemed like a long time, Dean questioned his brother again. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Some," Sam said, avoiding Dean's eyes.

Dean didn't believe him. "You wanna get out of here?"

"How about some breakfast first? The others are awake and it looked like a feast was underway when I got coffee."

Dean became aware of the welcome aroma of food and was suddenly famished. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Hey, do you know where my phone is?"

"Charging in my room," Sam said. "Use mine."

Dean took the phone and was about to dial Kristine's number when he realized it was still early. After a moment of hesitation he decided to send her a text message instead, then followed Sam to the kitchen.

---

Kristine didn't like arguing in general, but especially not with Lori. And it had been so pointless. She didn't understand why Lori was suddenly pushing her to make decisions she not only didn't want to make, but didn't even necessarily _need_ to be made. There was no reason things couldn't go on as they had been just because she was pregnant. She and Dean didn't have to commit to one another….the only commitment she really cared about was the one to the baby. She didn't have a right to ask for anything else and didn't even know if she wanted anything else.

Determined not to let what happened the night before ruin their last day together, Kristine pushed aside her anger and doubt before getting out of bed. She was almost out of the room when she heard the quiet chirp of her cell phone, alerting her to a text message. Looking at the display, she was immediately on guard seeing it had come from Sam's phone, but she knew if it was bad news, the younger Winchester would have the courage to say it to her and not send it in a text message.

She read the message and smiled to herself.

_We're fine; see you soon. I miss you._

_Dean_

---

Lori had felt hung-over when she first woke up, but she hadn't had any alcohol the day before. In fact, she hadn't any alcohol since arriving in North Carolina because it didn't seem fair to drink when Kristine couldn't. She was already feeling better after a shower and didn't think about it again.

The argument from the night before was one of many the friends had had over their lives and after apologies before going to breakfast at the diner, everything went back to normal. They were walking along the dirt road on the estate later when Dean called. He tried to sound nonchalant, but Kristine could tell he wasn't at his best.

When she saw him an hour later at the main house, Kristine _knew_ he wasn't at his best, but she also knew better than to overreact. They sat in the living room of the cottage and the brothers went over what happened. Even though they had only just met the hunters who died, it was impossible to miss how it had affected Sam and Dean. It didn't matter who was lost, a hunter or an innocent victim, neither brother ever took it very well.

Once the story had been told, Lori found some almost plausible reason to go to the main house and to take Sam with her. Kristine wasn't fooled and she doubted anyone else was either, but she was grateful for a little time alone with Dean. It had already been decided that they would all go to Asheville for an early dinner before dropping Lori off at the airport for her flight out.

"Are you sure you're up to Asheville?" Kristine asked once she and Dean were alone. She had walked Sam and Lori to the door and was now standing in front of Dean. "You look like hell."

"Thanks," he grumbled.

"You were fighting vampires less than 24 hours ago, Dean. It's to be expected."

"I want to go to Asheville with you." He reached out for her hand and pulled her down next to him. He was quiet for several minutes. "I thought I lost Sammy."

"What?" Kristine turned to look at him. That hadn't been a part of the story, but there had been no way to miss the bandage on Sam's neck. When asked, Sam had downplayed the incident.

"There was a vampire standing over him….biggest sonofabitch I've ever seen. Sammy was on the floor, blood all around him….but I was already pretty well out of it. If those other guys hadn't been there, I don't know that we would have gotten out."

"But they were there," Kristine said gently, trying not to think about what could have happened.

Dean laid his head back against the couch and ran a hand over his face. Kristine leaned against him.

"I've done a lot of thinking," he continued after a few minutes. "On the one hand, I know I should probably find something safer to do so that I'm around for the kid, but….Kristine, I can't give it up. I'm tired of being on the road all the time; I'm tired of the life. But not the job. Never the job. I can't leave Sam out there to do it by himself and I know he won't stop. He can't because of Jessica. Besides, I owe it to my mom and dad to find and kill that yellow-eyed sonofabitch. But I feel like I owe something to you and the baby and –"

"Stop it, Dean. I don't want you to give up hunting for me or for the baby. It's part of who you are and I've known that since the first time we met."

"You're sure?"

"Completely."

"I don't know how it will work. I'd like to be able to stay here when we're not working, but —"

"Dean, you're always welcome here. You know that. You and Sam….I'd love it if you would think of this as your home."

Dean turned his head to look at her. "Really?"

"I don't….I haven't figured out what we are, but I do know that we're friends. And your son or daughter will be here…." Kristine blinked away tears. "I know what you do is dangerous, but I also know that if you tried to give it up completely, you'd go insane. You can't tell me you've been okay the last couple of weeks."

"No, but I like being with you." Dean looked back at the ceiling. "You haven't been okay, either."

"No….I like having you around, but we need to figure out how that's gonna work," she playfully hit his arm. "You can only do so much maintenance on the Impala."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, I know."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, then Kristine kissed him gently. "I'm really glad you and Sam are okay."

"Me, too."

She moved to his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. "Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it freak you out if I told you that I might love you?"

She felt him stiffen a little, but his arm stayed around her. "Maybe a little bit."

Kristine kissed his neck. "Okay. I won't say anything, then."

oooOOOooo

"Hey, Sam?"

The brothers were alone at the table after dinner while Lori and Kristine were in the ladies' room. Sam looked at Dean.

"I want you to stay at the cottage tonight."

"What? Why?"

Dean looked away for a moment. "Because you almost died last night and I –"

"Dean, come on, man."

"Please, Sam. Do this for me."

Sam watched his brother. Dean didn't turn away and that surprised him.

"Yeah, Dean, sure."

Dean nodded. "Thanks."

"I wasn't the one unconscious for three hours," Sam pointed out.

"It was just a little nap, Sammy," Dean said, then smiled slyly.

Sam couldn't help but laugh. Lori and Kristine came back to the table a few minutes later and they all headed to the airport soon after that. They dropped Lori off for her flight, then went back to Mountain Ridge.

"I have to go to work in the morning," Kristine said once they had gotten back to the cottage. "I should be back by 3:30 or 4:00."

"You're not going to bed, are you?" Dean asked. "It's still early."

"I'm tired. I blame it on all the shopping. Take your pick of rooms, Sam."

"Thanks."

"I'll be up soon," Dean said.

She smiled at him from the bottom step. "Take your time. 'Night, boys."

After Kristine had gone upstairs, Dean and Sam settled on the back deck with a couple of beers. It was a few degrees warmer than normal for a late spring evening and it was comfortable enough outside with their light jackets.

"So, I told Kristine I wanted to keep hunting."

Sam glanced at his brother. "Yeah?"

"She was okay with it; expected it, really. I don't know how this is all gonna work, but it will. You and I won't have to be on the road all the time; we'll have a home base. Kristine said she wants both of us to think as the estate as home."

Sam nodded, staring out into the darkness.

"Sammy?"

"Dean, this isn't my life. Kristine is your….whatever she is and your kid will be here. It's not you and me anymore, man."

"Come on, Sam, we talked about that. You're still my brother and –"

"I know; that's not what I meant. You have to figure out what works for you and Kristine. And for the baby. But….none of that is mine. I gotta figure out what works for me."

"You and me, Sammy, we're a package deal. Kristine knows that."

"What if I don't want to be?" Sam looked at his brother for a moment.

"What are you saying, Sammy? I don't want you to hunt by yourself."

"I know. And I don't particularly want to. But maybe….Sometimes I might go off with hunters who come here or –"

"I don't think I want you going off with people we don't know, either."

"Look, Dean, we have to consider some other options here, okay? You're going to want to spend time with your kid and you should. But that doesn't mean I'm going to want to spend the same amount of time here."

"We're family, Sammy. All of us."

"I know that. And we'll be family if we're under the same roof or not."

"I don't want to talk about this." Dean walked across the deck and leaned back against the railing, taking a long swallow from the beer bottle.

Sam didn't mean to hurt his brother. He hadn't even meant to have this conversation; not tonight, anyway. He had no idea what he was going to do, but ever since finding out what their father had believed about the possibility that Sam might become evil, he'd had the idea that if he could save enough people, it might not happen. Besides that, he still had to kill the thing that took Jessica away from him.

"We're brothers, Dean. We'll always be brothers. No matter what." Sam joined Dean across the deck. "We'll figure this out, okay?"

Dean only nodded.

---

Kristine was walking through the parking lot after work the next afternoon when she felt an odd sensation; it was almost like a cold wind had blown right through her. Something felt different, but only for a moment, and she didn't see anything unusual when she glanced around. The chill was out of place on the warm afternoon, but any suspicion about it disappeared when she got into her car.

Kristine heard the music playing as she got out of the car in front of the cottage. One of the things she enjoyed about not having neighbors nearby was that it never mattered how much noise she made. Clearly Dean had discovered that same advantage. She went inside and, seeing no one in the living room, she continued into the kitchen. Dean was sitting at the newspaper-covered table, at least one gun disassembled in front of him. He was inspecting pieces and cleaning them, obviously lost in his work and enjoying the AC/DC CD. He didn't seem to notice her as Kristine leaned against the door frame, watching him.

He could probably clean and reassemble a gun with his eyes closed, but he stared intently at what was he was holding. After a moment his hands began to move; they seemed to be independent of the rest of his body and it was almost as if they knew what to do on their own. Kristine watched him with respect and admiration, but other feelings began to overwhelm her.

"Dean."

He didn't look up, so she called his name again. When he saw her, he smiled, but his expression turned to one of curiosity as she purposefully walked toward him. She put her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him fiercely. He resisted, but only for a moment, and she felt his hands rest on her hips as he turned from the table. She sat on his lap.

"Is Sam here?"

"No, he's at the main house."

"Good." She kissed him again, her fingers working determinedly to unbutton her blouse.

"What's gotten into you?" Dean managed to ask when Kristine's lips moved to his neck.

"Nothing yet," she whispered into his ear. "I was thinking about you the whole drive home. Imagining you…."

"Krist—"

"Don't talk. Please, Dean, just don't talk."

---

"Hi, Honey, I'm home," Kristine said, almost shyly, as she smiled down at Dean.

"Hey, how was your day?"

"Long. It's good to be home."

She moved off of him and Dean sat up, resting his back against the cabinets under the kitchen sink. Kristine slipped Dean's discarded t-shirt over her head and stood up. "I'm gonna take a shower. You want to join me?"

"You tryin' to kill me, woman?" he grinned.

"Please. You're not even 30 yet, ya wuss." She picked up her clothes and headed out of the kitchen. "I'll be upstairs when you're all rested up."

Dean watched her walk out of the kitchen, not sure if he should be concerned about her, or not. They'd always had a fairly adventurous sex life and there was almost nothing that Kristine hadn't been willing to try at least once, but he couldn't recall anything quite like this happening before. He'd snuck a peek at one of the pregnancy books Kristine had purchased and he knew a little about what to expect, and even though what had just happened was relatively tame by some standards, something had seemed different about her. She'd been more than just aggressive; she'd been almost desperate and yet still very much in control of herself.

He stood up and fastened his jeans when he heard the water in the shower upstairs. He'd been trying not to think about what she'd asked him before, that if she told him she loved him, would he be freaked out. He probably loved her, too, but saying those words would put too fine a point on their relationship. But whatever their feelings were, their physical relationship was more than satisfying and despite Dean's apprehension, he still wanted her.

---

Upstairs, Kristine stood under the showerhead as the hot water flowed over her. She was surprised by another odd sensation of a cold breeze blowing past and it made even less sense now than it had before. It left her feeling something she couldn't quite define. For a moment it was as if she wasn't alone, but when she heard Dean's voice from the hallway, she assumed she'd felt him coming. When he got into the shower with her, Kristine rested her head against his chest.

She remembered what had happened in the kitchen. She could still feel the sensations, but it somehow felt like it had been someone else.

"You're shaking," Dean said softly as he wrapped his arms more securely around her.

"It's just a chill," Kristine assured him, though she wasn't at all certain.

They stood quietly for a while, their arms wrapped around each other.

"Dean?"

"Hmmm?"

"Bobby hasn't found that amulet yet, has he? The one he had a lead on?"

Dean moved slightly to look at her. "No. Why?"

She held him more closely. "Just wondering."

"Did something happen? Is that why –"

"No." Kristine didn't know if she was telling him the truth or not. It didn't feel like it, but she wasn't sure. She kissed his chest. "No."

"You're shaking again," Dean observed. "How about we cut this short and get you into some clothes?"

Kristine felt tears roll down her cheeks, but they mixed with the water mixed and she didn't think Dean noticed. She didn't know what, but something felt very wrong.

She wasn't quite ready for maternity clothes yet, but Kristine had purchased some sweat pants bigger than her normal size. Wearing those and an oversized sweatshirt she normally wore only in the winter, Kristine crawled under the covers on her bed. Dean joined her after a few minutes, wrapping himself around her for added heat.

"You sure you don't need to talk to your doctor?" he asked, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"It's not….no, I don't need to talk to the doctor."

"You need anything?"

"No, thanks. I just want to sleep for a little while."

Dean brushed her hair with a kiss.

oooOOOooo

"You might have overplayed your hand," Joseph said to Lucy.

She waved her hand to sever their connection to what was going on in the cottage. There would be nothing more to see for a while with Kristine asleep. She paced in front of the couch.

"It's fine. She can't possibly know I was there."

"It looks like she at least suspects something. You know you have to be careful possessing a human; at least one you want to survive it and be unaware it had happened. And she's pregnant, so she's more susceptible to injury….You know they'll probably increase security now."

"Let them. I was only planting a seed, anyway."

"Planting a seed?" he watched her.

"Putting Dean's protectiveness into overdrive. It's another way to bring them closer."

"You keep interfering and we're never going to know what works."

Lucy looked at him. "Stop worrying."

"Stop trying to screw with things," Joseph said and walked away.

_tbc_


	6. Chapter 6

**Choices**

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

The mere apprehension of a coming evil has put many into a situation of the utmost danger - Lucan

oooOOOooo

Once Kristine was asleep, Dean got out of bed and went downstairs. He paced in the living room, his phone to his ear, becoming annoyed as he listened to the ringing. He knew that Sam had wanted to spend some time in the library at the main house, but that was no reason not to have his phone on him. Just as it was about to go to voicemail, Sam answered.

"It's about time," Dean grumbled.

"Nice to hear from ya, Dean."

He couldn't miss Sam's sarcasm and he took a deep breath. "Can you come to the cottage?"

"What's up?"

"I….I need you, okay?"

"Is Kristine home? Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's home. I don't know if she's okay. I think something happened….Please, Sammy."

"I'm already walking, man. What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, exactly. I'm gonna call Bobby, okay? I'll talk to you when you get here."

After ending the call with Sam, Dean dialed Bobby's number. The old man answered on the second ring, saving Dean a lot of anxiety.

"Hello?"

"Bobby, hey, it's Dean. Have you made any progress on that amulet?"

"Uh, no. I've got my eye on a couple of other things, though. Are you all right?"

"No. I mean, yeah, but…." Dean continued to pace around the room. "I don't know for sure, but I think something happened to Kristine. She's with me and she's okay now, I think, but –"

"Okay, hold on, boy. Take a deep breath and tell me what's going on."

Without a lot of detail, Dean told Bobby what had happened when Kristine got home; how she'd acted and her physical condition after the shower. Bobby agreed that it sounded like she'd at least been under the influence of something.

"The house is protected, the cottage. Hell, even Kristine's car, but not _her_; not enough, anyway. Bobby, what if something is after the baby? What if it's Yellow Eyes?"

"Okay, you need to calm down. Overreacting isn't going to help anyone, least of all Kristine. Now, I've got some things here that might help. I found them in the stuff I've been cataloging. They're charms; not as strong as what I've been trying to track down, but something may be better than nothing. There are some other things you can use; herbs and –"

"Yeah, I know. We did that, but herbs aren't going to do anything if it's the demon." Dean stopped in front of the window and stared outside. "Bobby, I hate to ask, but do you think you could come here for a few days? I know you have your own thing going on, but –"

"I'll leave first thing in the morning."

Dean let out a breath. "Thank you, Bobby. Really."

"I'll be in touch. Call if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks again, Bobby."

Dean dropped his phone onto the closest table. He was still pacing when Sam walked through the front door.

"Dean?"

"Hey, Sam."

"What's going on? You're white as a sheet."

"Yeah, I, uh…." Dean was still pacing.

"You get a hold of Bobby?"

"Just got off the phone with him. He's driving out here tomorrow."

"Where's Kristine?"

"Upstairs. She's sleeping."

"Dean, come on, man. You need to take it easy. Come over here and sit down."

Dean glanced at his brother.

"Come on. At least try."

Dean forced himself to sit on the couch next to Sam. He went into a little more detail than he had with Bobby as he told Sam what had happened that afternoon. The more he thought about it, the more Dean was sure that they hadn't been completely alone when Kristine came home.

"What if something is after the baby?" Dean asked when he finished the story.

"Something like the demon?"

"I don't know, man. Something like any of the things we've gone after."

"If something was after the baby, why would it….why would it do what it did this afternoon?"

"I don't know." Dean looked at him. "You think I'm overreacting?"

"I wish I could say yes, but considering everything we know….I don't know, Dean. But Kristine is here, she's safe. Let me look around and see if I can figure out how something might have slipped through the defenses."

Dean nodded.

"How about we get a pizza for dinner?" Sam wanted to give his brother something else to concentrate on, even if for only a few minutes.

"Sure, yeah."

Sam stood up and patted his brother's shoulder. "Try not to worry, okay?"

"Yeah, right."

Dean ordered a couple of pizzas and drinks from Kristine's favorite place in town, then went upstairs to check on her. She was still sound asleep and he stood in the doorway watching her for several minutes. He hoped he was going in the right direction. He didn't want there to be a supernatural reason for the way Kristine had started to feel in the shower, but he wondered if that wasn't preferable to a physical cause. He trusted Kristine's instincts and if she didn't think a doctor was necessary, he had no choice but to agree. At least for the time being.

Tearing himself away from her, Dean went outside to help Sam. It took nearly half an hour to inspect all of the protection symbols, but everything seemed to be in order. When they were finished, Sam took the Impala to the main house so he could get some books to go through and hopefully find something they'd missed. He pulled up to the cottage right after their dinner arrived.

"Help yourself, Sam. I'm going to check on Kristine."

---

Kristine opened her eyes, immediately feeling uneasy. She rolled onto her back and looked around the room, taking inventory of what she saw and of what she felt. She heard the familiar creak of the top step and held her breath until she saw Dean.

"Hey, you're awake. You okay?"

"Yeah," she sat up. "Did I hear the doorbell?"

"I hope it didn't wake you. Sam's here; we ordered pizza."

"I was awake. Are you okay? You don't look good."

He sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm just a little worried about you."

"I'm okay." Physically, she felt all right, but she had a nagging feeling.

"You want to tell me what earlier was about? Not what happened in the kitchen, but later?"

Kristine wanted to ignore everything, but she saw the look on Dean's face; the fear and concern in his eyes. And she remembered what she'd felt. If there was something going on, she owed it not only to herself and to Dean, but to their baby as well, to do what she could to make sure it was stopped.

"I don't know. I felt…something when I was walking to my car at the clinic. It was like a cold breeze that came out of nowhere and….I wanted to think about it, but when I got into the car, everything seemed all right. Here, later, after I went upstairs, I felt the breeze again and then I just couldn't get warm. And all I wanted to do was sleep….if you hadn't been holding me up, I'm not sure I wouldn't have fallen over."

"What about now?"

"I feel okay; a little…I don't know. Foggy? But I'm okay." She looked at him. "You think something happened."

"Yeah. That's why Sam is here. He came to help me check out the protection symbols and he's got a few books he's looking through to see if he can find out if we missed anything. And I called Bobby. He hasn't found the amulet, but he's got a couple other things that he thinks will help. He's coming, too."

Kristine smiled sadly. "You must be worried if you called Bobby."

"Darlin', I'm always worried about something. And I really hope I'm overreacting, but I don't want to take any chances with you or with the baby."

She smiled and touched his cheek. "I adore you, Dean Winchester."

He took her hand and kissed it gently.

"Come on, let's get some pizza."

---

Two days later, there had been no more incidents. Sam hadn't been able to find any holes in the defense, but he came across a recipe of herbs that would boost the charm that Kristine already wore around her neck. It wasn't a particularly strong amulet, but it had made her feel safe enough in the past.

No one was willing to use the word _possessed_ to describe what had happened outside the clinic, but that's what was on everyone's mind. Kristine was worried, but she didn't want to miss work and disappoint her patients. Dean insisted on driving her to and from Ashville. He'd wanted to hang out in her office while she was working, but Kristine felt she had to draw the line there. She didn't particularly want him to chauffer her, but it made him feel better and she had to admit that it helped her, too.

She refused to really talk about it, even with Sam, who had experience with being possessed. She wasn't denying that's probably what happened, but she didn't feel the need to talk about it. She made an appointment with her counselor, though she didn't tell Dean, and she also had a long telephone conversation with her obstetrician.

It took Bobby two long days of driving to reach Mountain Ridge, arriving in the early evening of the second night after Dean called him. He greeted Kristine and the boys warmly and after a few minutes of small talk, they went up to the estate house for dinner. Two hunters had arrived earlier in the day and Kristine wanted to make herself available to them.

---

"How's she doing?" Bobby asked once he was alone with Dean.

"All right. She's not talking about it and I know she's worried, but she's okay." Dean sat down on the sofa. They'd taken over the den; Kristine was outside with the hunters and Ross, the caretaker, had already gone to his room.

"What about you?"

"Let's just say I'm on alert. You said you'd found something that might help?"

"Yeah, there were some charms in the stuff I've been cataloging. One I still haven't been able to identify, but the other two are similar to the ones I gave you and Sam to ward against possession. I don't think they're as powerful, but they should help. Probably should only wear one or the other, though. Sometimes doubling up isn't a good idea."

"What about giving Kristine the one you gave me?"

Bobby shook his head. "Not that one. The ones I gave you and your brother are basically calibrated to you. I made them. I've been looking around for the right stuff to make one for Kristine, too, but honestly until you called the other day, I hadn't been looking real hard."

They sat quietly for a moment, then Dean looked at Bobby. His expression was one of fear and it tore at the older man's heart.

"What are you thinking?" Bobby prompted him.

He watched as Dean seemed to struggle with his thoughts. "I don't know. I just….What if this whole thing has something to do with the demon? Could the demon be orchestrating everything? Kristine wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant and now…..but what would the point be? Maybe he's given up on Sam and he's looking for a replacement. We don't know why he came after us – we don't know why he killed my mom or Kristine's sister. We –"

"Hold on, Dean. You're working yourself into an ulcer here. Doctors make mistakes all the time; maybe that's what happened with Kristine. I'm not gonna lie to you; you know too much to be convinced by that anyway. Yeah, it's possible this is all the demon's handiwork, but even if it is, that doesn't mean the demon's gonna get what it wants."

"I don't want to come home one day and find Kristine pinned to the ceiling."

Bobby had thought about that, but it was still hard to hear Dean say the words.

"We've been researching all along, but Sam has really been putting in the hours lately to figure out how to stop that bastard," Dean continued. "Even if the demon made all this happen, that's still mine and Kristine's baby and we're going to keep it safe. I'm not going to let that sonofabitch have my brother or my kid."

"Sounds like you're feeling better about becoming a father."

Dean looked at him, surprise clear in his eyes. "I'm still freaked out."

"Anyone who takes it seriously would be."

"Kristine and Sam….they have confidence in me. I wish I did."

"I do, too, Dean."

The younger man cleared his throat; he stood up and walked across the room. Bobby knew that even though Dean had been leading the conversation, he'd let it get too close to home and was feeling uncomfortable.

"So," Dean said after a moment. "Do you think what happened to Kristine the other day….do you think she was possessed?"

"It's hard to say, Dean. Possessed, somehow influenced, who knows? Maybe it was nothing. I've been thinking about it and there's just no clear cut answer. If you and Sam didn't find any way for a demon to get into the cottage, I don't think one possessing her could have gotten in."

"Unless we just didn't find the hole. Will you take a look in the morning? You originally designed the barrier, anyway."

"Yeah, I'll look at it."

---

"You okay?" Sam and Dean were alone in the den after Bobby went to bed. "You're quiet."

"Yeah, just thinking. What were you doing in the library?"

"What I've been doing since we got here; trying to figure stuff out. What are you thinking about?"

Dean smiled sadly. "Trying to figure stuff out."

Sam waited as Dean sat in a chair across from him and seemed to gather his thoughts.

"The other day Kristine asked me whether or not I'd be freaked out if she said she loved me."

"Yeah? What did you say?"

"That I would be."

"How'd she take that?"

"She said she wouldn't say anything; then we went upstairs and –"

"Spare me the details."

"Sorry," Dean leaned forward and set a beer bottle on the coffee table. "Thing is….I think I already knew that she does and I think I love her, too."

Sam smiled. He'd been sure of their feelings years ago, but he also knew that they both came with a lot of baggage and would never rush into admitting anything as complicated as loving each other. Despite his feelings of insecurity lately, Sam wanted his brother to find love and happiness. He wanted Dean to experience what he'd had with Jessica because if anyone deserved that, it was Dean. He sacrificed so much for everyone; even for people he didn't know. Dean was entitled to something for himself.

"Did you tell her that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't have anything to offer her, Sam. Her, or the baby."

"Stop saying that. I don't like it," Sam said. "You don't have material things, but you know that Kristine doesn't care about that. She could be living a much more lavish lifestyle, but she doesn't. It's not about that, anyway. And if she thought you didn't have anything to offer, she wouldn't be in love with you."

Dean looked uncertain.

"What did I have to offer Jessica?" Sam continued. "Nothing but me."

"But you were going to be a lawyer. Me, I'm just –"

"You're a guy who saves people's lives. You put yourself in danger for people you don't even know. Dean, you don't give yourself enough credit."

"Sam, I…." Dean looked at him. "Thanks."

---

Bobby examined the protection symbols not only on the cottage, but the main house as well. He found a couple of weak spots, but nothing he thought a demon could have used as a way in. At least that's what he told Kristine and the brothers. He knew that what happened in the past, whatever it had been, couldn't be changed and that his slight exaggeration wouldn't hurt anything. He patched what he could and concentrated on finding ways to strengthen the barrier.

Bobby managed to track down some people deep in the Appalachians who were experts on all sorts of folklore methods for keeping evil away from people and buildings. He also learned that they had specialized ways of protecting unborn children from the influences of evil. It took a couple of days to arrange an appointment, but Bobby and Sam left as soon as one had been secured and were gone for two nights.

Even though Kristine had added one of the charms that Bobby brought with him to the chain around her neck, Dean didn't feel comfortable with her going places alone. The truth was, Kristine wasn't entirely comfortable herself, but she realized she couldn't live with that sort of fear and after another week of letting him chauffer her everywhere she went, Kristine put an end to it.

---

Two weeks after he arrived, Bobby thought there was nothing else he could do in Mountain Ridge. With Sam's help, he had incorporated some of the ideas into the estate protection they'd gotten from the Appalachian family. Bobby had talked to Kristine and Dean about the things he and Sam had learned about protecting the baby, but there were more unknowns than knowns, so they decided not to try any of them.

Bobby and Dean also spent quite a bit of time together talking about Dean's fears over becoming a father. Bobby had no direct experience, but he was able to listen and impart the wisdom that came strictly from being older. Bobby also talked to Dean about John and conversations the two men had had over the years, including those about John's own fears of fatherhood. It had never occurred to Dean that anything ever scared his dad, least of all being a father; Bobby was glad he'd been able to give Dean at least a little peace.

---

Despite what Lori had said about her having a lot of friends in Mountain Ridge, Kristine knew there were only two people she was really close to. She enjoyed the company of many and there was almost no on in town that she didn't at least recognize when she saw them, but only the estate caretaker and the owner of the inn were townspeople she truly considered to be friends. They were the only two people in town who knew almost everything there was to know about her; they were definitely the only ones who had intimate knowledge of what went on at the estate. The county sheriff also had considerable knowledge, but he was more of a necessary ally than an actual friend.

While Kristine felt quite different seventeen weeks into the pregnancy, she still didn't look particularly pregnant. She'd gotten used to the idea and even though she and Dean had yet to make any real decisions, she knew it was probably past time to tell her friends. It was harder talking to Rachel than to the caretaker, Ross. It wasn't unexpected as Rachel had been a friend of Kristine's mother and she had grown up thinking of Rachel as an aunt. Rachel was traditional enough to be disappointed that not only was Kristine pregnant not married, she wasn't planning to get married. Despite that, she was glad to hear that Dean was the father and promised to support Kristine and to help out any way she could.

---

"Are you feeling better about things?" Sam asked his brother as Dean flopped down on the bed.

"I don't know. Maybe."

Bobby had been gone for several hours and Kristine had felt obligated to attend an afternoon tea sponsored by the gardening club her mother had belonged to.

"What about Kristine?"

"She's acting like she feels okay. I don't know; maybe we'll talk tonight."

"Have you guys talked about anything?"

"No. Not really. But we're both okay with that for now. She knows in the big picture that I'm not going to disappear on her or the baby. We just have to figure out the details."

Sam sat in the desk chair and looked at his brother, not sure what to say.

"Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

Dean sat up. "You said you might go off on jobs with hunters. Were you serious about that?"

At first Sam didn't recall saying that, but then he remembered the conversation that had taken place weeks ago.

"Why are you bringing that up now?"

"Because I've been thinking about it."

"I don't know, Dean. A lot of hunters pass through here and Kristine knows their reputations for the most part. If it's someone she says is okay…." He shrugged and leaned back in the chair.

"I feel like I'm deserting you."

"Dean, no, that's not….that's crazy. Come on, man, I'm an adult. You have another responsibility now….I –"

"It's always been my job to look out for you."

Sam knew that was at the root of why Dean was having such a hard time figuring out the details, as he'd put it. Dean felt so much responsibility for him; more than any brother should. They were only four years apart, but Sam knew Dean didn't see it that way and no matter how old Sam got, he would always be Dean's little brother. There was a time that thought would have made him bristle, but Sam had realized somewhere along the way that it wasn't an insult. Dean respected him, but still felt a responsibility to him. Not everyone was lucky enough to have someone care about them like Dean cared about him.

Besides, for as long as Sam could remember, and probably even longer, their father's mantra to Dean had been to look out for him. How many times had their dad's last words out the door been _take care of Sammy,_ or, _look after your brother, Dean._

Sam understood why it was so hard for Dean to see himself as a separate person, but the last thing he wanted was for Dean to feel conflicted about wanting to spend time with his kid. It was hard enough for him to admit he wanted to be alone with Kristine sometimes. There had been more than one time over the years that Sam had insisted they visit Mountain Ridge because he knew Dean would never put his own needs first.

He had no idea what to say to his brother to make him feel all right about making a decision, but he had to try.

"Dean, you've always been there for me. Even when there was no one else, you were there. I'm grown up now and you're still here. I don't know what the future is going to hold, but I do know that you owe it to that baby to be around as much as you can. Do for it what you did – what you do – for me. Even if we're not physically together, I know you have my back."

Dean looked at him, a mixture of pride and sadness on his face. "I just don't want to let you down, man."

"You never will."

"I know you can take care of yourself, but I don't want you going off with people we don't know unless we know they can be trusted."

"Agreed," Sam hesitated. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I have your back, too, right?"

"I know that."

Sam nodded. "Okay."

oooOOOooo

Lucy and Joseph went to the bar that they and their allies had taken over. It was well past midnight, but the bar was crowded with demons as well as humans who were attracted to them.

They were two members of what, in times past, was called The Council. There was no formal designation any more, but Joseph, Lucy and the other demons who made the decisions about the ongoing battle with Azazel, known to the Winchesters and others as Yellow-Eyes, met regularly to discuss strategy and make plans. They actively recruited members, issued orders to their followers and, if necessary, handed down punishment to anyone who broke the few laws that they had.

They were no less powerful or respected than when the group had an official title; they had simply found no need to stand on such ceremony when they took over. None of them even remembered how long ago that was; time was irrelevant to demons. They all knew that some day others would take their place, either because they would willingly step down or due to some battle. Their power was absolute, but for only as long as they could hold onto it.

Lucy recalled the times when The Council met in a special place and an audience was only granted under certain circumstances. That had been in the days when Azazel was in complete control of the demon world and had ruled The Council. Those days were long gone and though she and her allies had not been able to crawl out from under him completely, they no longer followed him. They almost had to exist in secret to avoid his reprisal, but Lucy was certain their current plan would allow them to finally defeat Azazel.

She liked the informality of meeting in the bar. In nearly every town they spent time in, they took one over for their own purposes. There was always a certain type of human who would be attracted to them, just because they were there. The humans were drawn to the raw power that the demons commanded….almost like moths to a flame. That's how Lucy thought of them anyway. Mindless; controlled by their desires and with little regard for the rules of society.

Lucy took her place next to Joseph; there were five others at the table.

"Well? What do you think?" someone asked, looking at Joseph.

"Things are going well so far. We just have to keep watching to see what happens. If this one is successful, we'll implement it immediately; exactly as it plays out."

"And if not?"

Joseph and Lucy exchanged a glance.

"You know what happens. We come up with another way."

_tbc_


	7. Chapter 7

**Choices**

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

If you could really accept that you weren't ok you, could stop proving you were ok. If you could stop proving that you were ok you could get that it was ok not to be ok. If you could get that it was ok not to be ok you could get that you were ok the way you are. You're ok, get it? - Werner Erhard

oooOOOooo

"Hey."

Dean looked up from the book he was reading when Kristine walked into the living room. Her expression put him immediately on alert. He tossed the book aside as Kristine sat next to him.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"What? Oh, no! I'm sorry. No, I'm fine. I've been thinking about something on my drive home." She leaned against him when he put his arm around her shoulders. "I didn't mean to freak you out."

"My heart will start beating again in a second. What were you thinking about?"

She held his hand. "Lots of stuff. And it wasn't _just_ on the drive home. I've been thinking about things for a while. I had a counseling session this afternoon; with _my _counselor, I mean. I realized that I've been afraid to talk to you and I think maybe you've been afraid to talk to me."

Dean could have protested, but he'd only be lying if he did.

"I'd say that I've made some decisions, but that's not fair to you. That makes it sound like you don't have a say in what's going on and I don't want you to feel that way. So, instead of making decisions, I'll say that I've come to some conclusions."

"That still sounds pretty final to me." Dean didn't intend to sound judgmental or angry, but he wasn't sure he'd succeeded.

"It's not," Kristine said softly. "I'm probably less inclined to negotiate some points, but nothing is final."

"Less inclined to _negotiate_?"

Kristine gently caressed his hand. "I know I'm just springing this on you and I don't mean to. And it's not….you want to be civilized and do this over dinner?

Dean hesitated as a feeling of dread came over him. "How about we just talk now?"

"Will you listen with an open mind?"

"I'll try."

"I want to move back into the estate house; into the master suite. There are almost always hunters there and Ross practically never leaves. That way, there will always be people around to help protect the baby and you can feel better about going off on hunts."

"Krist—"

"You said you'd listen."

Dean sighed. "Go on."

"I'm not saying you _have_ to go out on hunts, but I think this will make it easier for you to do what we both know you need to do. There are a lot of parents whose jobs keep them from home for periods of time. What you do is important; you help people and you save lives. And it's not just what you do; it's who you are. That's one of the things I lo….that's one of the things I respect about you. And I want you to instill that kind of honor into your child."

Dean wasn't sure what to say. He didn't have a problem with Kristine moving back into the main house, but he didn't want her to do it because of him. And he didn't feel particularly honorable. He knew what he did helped people, but he had never felt that he was anything special.

"I still want you and Sam to think of this place, the estate, as your home. I want to have as many rooms as possible available for guests, so Sam can use the cottage when he's here. I'll move my personal stuff up to the main house and he can do whatever he wants with the cottage." She paused, probably to give Dean a chance to say something, but he stayed quiet. She continued a moment later. "I want the baby to know the truth about the supernatural. I want it to know about what you and Sam do. I want it to know how to protect itself, but no hunts. The baby stays here, grows up here and goes to school here."

Dean had to admit to himself that he didn't like being dictated to, but Kristine still hadn't said anything he disagreed with. He didn't want another Winchester to grow up in the back seat of the Impala.

"I'm not asking for a commitment from you. Not one to me, anyway. I need you to make one to the baby, though. Like I said, I don't expect you to be here all the time, but if you want to co-parent this child, you have to figure out a way to merge that with hunting. I don't want you to just be a guest in his or her life, so if you can't make some kind of commitment, then you need to tell me now. Soon, anyway."

"Anything else?" he asked, carefully keeping his tone neutral.

"What do you think so far?"

Dean pulled away and leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees. After a moment, he turned his head to look at her. "Those are the nonnegotiable points?"

"I never said nonnegotiable, but, those are the ones I'm pretty much not willing to compromise on."

"I'm not sure I like _how_ you told me this stuff, but I can't say that I disagree. Knowing what we do, there's no way we can ever live a completely normal life. I get that. But I want to make things as normal for our kid as we can. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do about hunting….I think you're probably right that I can't give it up completely. I want to be here for the kid; I want to be a dad. I don't know how good I'll be, but I won't desert him. Or you."

"You ready for a little more?"

Dean felt surprisingly calm. He sat back and took her hand. "Hit me."

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and she's going to do an ultrasound. I'd love for you to be there. This is the first one I've had and –"

"Yeah, I want to be there." Kristine's smile warmed his heart.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"How do you feel about being in the delivery room?"

"A little freaked out, but I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"So, how about childbirth classes?"

"Say what?"

"Childbirth classes. They teach you what to expect during delivery and –"

"Hey, you were saying something about dinner earlier?"

Kristine laughed and kissed him gently. They sat quietly for a few minutes.

"You're really okay with what I said about the baby and hunting and everything?"

"You know how I felt about my dad and I get why he did what he did, but I don't want that for my kid. I'm not sure how I feel about him growing up around some of the hunters who come here, but I trust your judgment. And I like the idea of you being around people who can protect you both when I'm not here."

"You wanna go look at baby furniture this weekend?"

The change of subject surprised him and Dean looked at her, feigning apprehension. "You're really throwing a lot at me tonight."

"I know I am. I figure if I keep you dazed, I'll get what I want," she joked.

"Oh yeah? And what is it you want?"

"Dinner. I'm starving and I've been craving fish and chips all day. How about Shell's?"

"If that's what you want."

"You want to see if Sam wants to come along?"

"Yeah, I'll call him."

The three went to the only seafood restaurant in town, then while Kristine went to spend some time with Rachel, the brothers decided to have a nightcap at Mojo's. Dean thought he wanted to talk to Sam about what Kristine had told him when she got home, but as they sat at a table in the back of the bar, he decided against it. There would be time for that later.

---

Dean was glad to see the waiting room in the doctor's office was empty of people when he and Kristine arrived. It was the first appointment of the morning because she was going to work right after seeing the doctor. Dean suspected she knew he was uncomfortable; she'd been trying to keep the mood light since they got up that morning.

Despite being in a small town, the office was full service and had all of the latest equipment. It attracted patients from all over the county and employed two doctors, a radiologist, nurses and even a midwife. Deliveries could be done in the town's clinic or at two hospitals in Asheville; the midwife also assisted at home deliveries.

There was a homey feel to the office. The waiting room looked like it belonged in someone's house and even the exam room they were led into didn't seem to belong in a medical building. Of course the exam table was standard fare, but the walls were painted in a warm color and the pictures could have been come from an art gallery.

Dean was left alone for a few minutes while Kristine was taken to be weighed and other normal exam activities. He glanced through the pamphlets laid out on the desk, then moved to the window before finally settling on the stool next to the exam table. He rubbed his hands nervously on his jeans and tried to push his fears behind the familiar mask he wore.

He looked toward the door when it opened and felt almost a physical relief when Kristine walked in.

"You okay?" she smiled.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

He watched as she grinned and stood in front of him. "You're a little out of your element. I doubt you spend much time in rooms that have tables with stirrups. And if you do, I'm not sure I want to know about it."

Dean laughed and pulled her toward him.

The technician came in a few minutes later and introduced herself to Dean. Amanda and Kristine knew each other from school as well as from Kristine's previous visits to the office. Dean helped Kristine up on the table and stood nearby, uncomfortable and unsure of what he should do. Amanda made some final adjustments to the equipment and Kristine reached for his hand.

"You can move that stool closer if you want to sit down," Amanda smiled at him.

Once everyone was settled, Amanda explained the procedure and the types of things the test was designed to detect. When she was finished, she sat back. "Any questions?"

Kristine glanced at Dean, then shook her head. "Nope; we're good."

"Well, I have a question for you. It might be possible to see what gender the baby is. Do you want to know?"

Kristine glanced at Dean again. They'd talked about it the night before and decided they didn't want to. She shook her head. "No."

Amanda smiled. "I love surprises myself. Okay, let's get started."

Once she had thoroughly done her job and was sure everything was normal, Amanda turned the screen so that Dean and Kristine could see the images.

"Meet your baby. Everything looks fine."

Dean couldn't really make anything out in the image, but he felt Kristine squeeze his hand. Once Amanda explained what they were seeing, the baby took shape and he was amazed. He couldn't find any words to express what he was feeling.

"I'll print out a couple of pictures for you," Amanda said. "And I'll just leave this image up while I go get them. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Neither Kristine nor Dean spoke for a moment, both of them staring at the monitor.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" he could only manage a whisper.

"What do you think of your kid?"

"I – uh – wow."

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

---

Dean found Sam in the library of the main house later. Sam was sitting at the desk, his laptop set up in front of him and books piled all around him. Dean stood in the doorway, watching as the words on the page of the book Sam was looking at almost floated into his head. Dean had always been impressed with his brother's intelligence.

He probably could take some credit for Sam having been ahead of his classmates in school, but that would never have occurred to him. Dean had shared what he was learning in school with his little brother, even before he was old enough to understand. Sam could already read and do simple math when he started first grade. Dean's best subject had always been math and other than that, it wasn't long before Sam could do Dean's homework better than he could.

Their father had been good at research and had taught both of his sons his methods. Sam took to it better than Dean; it was his forte and his passion. Dean sometimes watched him, like he was doing now, and was always filled with pride.

It looked like Sam was onto something and, not wanting to interrupt, Dean decided to wait until later to talk to him. He had just started to walk away when Sam called his name.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"I – uh – I didn't want to interrupt you."

He saw the curious expression on Sam's face as he asked about the appointment.

"Great. Kristine's fine; the baby is fine. I – uh…." Dean sat down on the couch. "Sam…."

Sam moved from the desk and sat next to him. "Is something wrong?"

Dean shook his head. "No. The doctor said she'd only had a handful of patients over the years who have had as easy a pregnancy as Kristine is having."

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, that's good." Dean said though he was uncertain. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out one of the ultrasound pictures. He held it out to Sam.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow," Dean was feeling overwhelmed again. "It's real, Sam. I mean, I knew it was, but Kristine barely looks pregnant and I can't feel what she does….this picture….that's my kid, Sammy."

"I know," Sam grinned. "So, is it a boy or a girl?"

"Kristine didn't want to know. I couldn't decide, so I agreed with her. I've been doing that a lot in the last couple of days."

"What do you mean?"

Dean told him about the terms Kristine had laid out.

"You okay with all of that?"

Dean shrugged. "Seems reasonable. I'm a little concerned about the kid growing up in the same house as hunters; some of them, anyway. I try not to think about Kristine being near some of them, too, but she's smart and she knows what she's doing."

"So, you're not gonna give up hunting?"

"I can't; not entirely. I owe it to Mom and Dad; to you and Jessica…I want to find the yellow-eyed bastard; it took Kristine's family, too. I just have to figure out how to make it all work." Dean nodded toward the desk. "What's all that?"

Sam looked across the room and then back to his brother, almost as if he felt guilty about something. "Just some stuff I've been working on."

"Wanna fill me in? Is it a job?"

"It's not a job. At least not yet. It's uh….it's stuff about Yellow Eyes."

Dean walked to the desk and looked over what was on the tops of the various piles. Sam was close on his heels.

"What have you found?"

"Nothing conclusive. I've just been comparing some of the stuff Dad found with some other things and trying to organize it all. I don't know how Dad figured those patterns out."

"He was good, that's for sure," Dean said, trying to look through the piles without disturbing Sam's organization. "There's nothing new?"

"No; like I said, I'm comparing and organizing. It's kind of nice having the time and space to do this."

"Anything I can do to help?"

Dean couldn't miss the surprise on his brother's face. Research wasn't one of Dean's top ten things to do, but that didn't mean he didn't have some of their father's skill. A few minutes later, both of them were buried in books and papers.

---

Every day life had fallen into a sort of routine. Kristine would go to work for a few hours each day and then spend time at the main house. Dean helped Ross with work around the estate and researched with Sam. The brothers worked out in the gym and talked to the hunters who visited. They got information and provided advice; it seemed that everyone had heard of the Winchesters and most were happy to get their take on a current problem.

As Kristine had thought, it didn't take much work to get the suite ready. There was already a bedroom, sitting room and private bath, but it was remodeled to make a nursery. Dean surprised her by doing some of the work himself. They shopped for baby furniture, but it wasn't until Lori visited for a few days that the purchase was made.

Dean also surprised Kristine with how well he handled the childbirth classes. She wouldn't admit that he seemed more comfortable in them than she did, but she had the thought more than once. Kristine had no desire to be a hero and though she wanted to try delivery without drugs, her opinion was that they had been invented for a reason.

Even though Sam had moved into the cottage, but wasn't able to think of it as his. It stayed empty except for the furniture that Kristine had left there. Other than those too few months of living with Jessica, he'd never had a place of his own, but he found that he enjoyed not having to pack up his books and papers every day.

The brothers started to leave for nearby jobs and each time they were gone, Dean felt a little more comfortable with the arrangement. He was beginning to think he could merge his two worlds and be content in each one. He was a little concerned that Sam seemed to be isolating himself; other than talking to the hunters and to Dean and Kristine, Sam was almost always alone. It was to be expected, considering how they'd grown up and lived their lives since, but Dean wanted Sam to take advantage of their time in Mountain Ridge. They talked about it, but Sam blew off his brother's concerns and Dean knew better than to push.

Six weeks before the due date, Kristine felt good and was experiencing none of the normal discomforts of advanced pregnancy. She still barely looked pregnant, but the doctor continued to assure her that things were progressing normally.

About a month before the due date, Lori and Rachel hosted a baby shower at the inn. Some of Kristine's extended family from Ashville and elsewhere in the state came to Mountain Ridge for the day. She wasn't particularly close to her family; she kept in touch and attended events only out of respect for her parents. It was the same type of duty she felt to carry on her mother's charity work and social obligations, though there was an aunt a couple of cousins that she enjoyed spending time with.

Kristine made sure that Ellen Harvelle and Missouri Mosley were invited and Dean greeted them happily when they arrived the day before the shower. Bobby even came into town for a few days, though he and the brothers didn't attend the shower.

Kristine was overwhelmed by the gifts from her family; she was sure that there wasn't another thing she and Dean would have to buy. Everyone seemed to have a good time and once the presents were opened and most of the food consumed, the guests started to leave. Kristine saw them out, then went to check out what was still left on the buffet table.

"Step away from the cookies and no one gets hurt," she commanded with a smile, picking up one of Rachel's home made chocolate cookies.

Missouri returned the smile. "You're a month away from giving birth and you're still too skinny. Eat two cookies."

Kristine laughed. "Thank you so much for coming and helping out. You're being here means a lot to me and I know that Dean appreciates it, too. He was feeling a little overwhelmed having to mingle with the family who came into town early."

"He's not too good with people sometimes," Missouri said. "Especially people who don't know about the supernatural."

"I know. But he did all right." Kristine looked at the large whicker basket sitting in the middle of the food table. It was filled with various plants that could be transferred to other containers or put into the ground outside. "I have to tell you again that the centerpiece; it's gorgeous. I heard a lot of people commenting about it."

"Ellen and I worked on it," Missouri said.

"When did you two get so chummy?" Kristine asked as Ellen joined them.

"We knew your family would get all of the normal things a baby would need, but, well," Ellen hesitated. "I've been talking to Bobby and he told me how nervous you and Dean are about things your family doesn't understand. I called Missouri to discuss an appropriate gift from us."

Missouri nodded. "They can all be used for protection and can be put in the nursery and throughout the house," Missouri explained. "Some of them, like the Hyacinth, are also for happiness."

Tears sprang into Kristine's eyes.

"I said happiness!" Missouri laughed and hugged her.

Ellen put her arm around Kristine's waist a moment later. "I know what it's like to raise a kid around the craziness of that world. And I'm not gonna lie to you; it's hard. But you've got a lot of help and you're gonna be just fine."

"Thank you," Kristine said quietly. "Both of you."

"Hey," Dean said as he came from the kitchen. "Lori called and said it was safe."

Kristine wiped the tears away and moved next to him, taking his hand. Sam and Bobby walked in a moment later.

"We came for leftovers," Dean said, looking at the mound of gifts across the room. "That's a lot of stuff."

"Yeah. We're going to need Ross' truck to get it all up to the house, I think."

"I hope you have room for one more," Bobby held out a small box and Kristine took it with a smile.

"Bobby…." She opened the box and looked at him.

"It's a silver baby cup. You know that silver is a protective metal and this one was fortified by a witch who only practiced white magic. Leaving it in the nursery is as effective as salting the doors and windows."

Dean looked at him appreciatively as Kristine hugged him. "Thank you."

Bobby nodded and returned the hug, looking only a little uncomfortable. "How about those leftovers?"

---

Kristine had completely transitioned all of her clients to other counselors and she stopped working three weeks before the due date. She completed the final touches to the nursery and spent time with the hunters, though there were fewer than normal coming through.

Mild contractions started the afternoon before the due date and progressed in textbook form. Early in the next morning, Dean drove them to the birthing center at the clinic. Once checked in, they were settled in one of the birth suites. While all of the medical necessities were available for emergencies, the suite was more like a bedroom. It was painted in a warm cream color with soft landscape paintings on the walls. The room held a queen sized bed, a couple of recliners, a couch, television and CD player. It also had a private bath and telephone.

Kristine was comfortable in a recliner and she watched as Dean uneasily checked out the room. In addition to the things most people put in the bag they bring to the hospital, she and Dean had packed herbs and amulets that he had laid out in various innocuous places.

"Dean?"

He turned to look at her, his hands stuffed into his jeans.

"You're making me nervous."

"Sorry."

She held out her hand and he took it, sitting on the arm of her chair.

"Better?"

Kristine laid her head against him. "Thank you."

"You doin' okay?"

"Yeah. Did you call Sam?"

"He told me to call when we were settled."

"He's going to be here, isn't he?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I think he figures he'd be in the way."

"Give me the damn phone."

Kristine gripped Dean's hand as he started to stand. He stayed with her, holding her hand and helping to distract her from the pain.

"They're getting stronger," she said when the contraction was over.

"Still about four minutes apart," Dean said, checking his watch. "Do you need anything?"

"Just the phone."

"You don't have to –"

"I have four minutes to make this call. Don't argue with me."

Dean smirked. "Yes'm."

Kristine listened to Sam's cell phone ring four times before he answered it. She was afraid he wouldn't recognize the hospital number and would let it go to voice mail.

"Hello?"

"It's about time; I didn't think you were going to answer."

"Kristine?"

"Yeah. Dean said you might not come to the clinic; is that true?"

"Well, I…."

"Sam, we want you here. _I_ want you here. If you're not comfortable in the suite with us, the waiting room is just down the hall. Please, Sam?"

"You're sure? I mean, I –"

"Of course I'm sure. And can you stop by the inn to pick up Rachel if she's ready? I called her before we left the house."

"Sure, yeah, I mean…." She heard Sam take a deep breath. "We'll be there soon."

---

Sam didn't want to be at the hospital when the baby was born, but he couldn't explain his reasons. He wanted to share Kristine and Dean's happiness, but he wasn't really happy himself. It had nothing to do with jealousy or any of what he'd felt before. He was just too afraid to be happy.

He hadn't shared all of his research with his brother. Some of it he'd kept hidden, only talking to Bobby about it. He'd hoped to either find out he was wrong, or find a way around what he'd learned. He never wanted to have to worry his brother about it.

Sam hadn't spotted it at first, but gradually he'd begun to see that there were signs of demon activity in a nearby town. As near as he could tell, it had started about the time he and Dean had been in town before; when the baby was conceived. There had been periods of less activity, but in the last week it had increased substantially before dropping off completely. He had wanted to investigate, but he knew that his leaving town so close to Kristine's due date would only make Dean suspicious. Bobby had agreed to take a look and he met some of his contacts there only a few days before.

They'd found a bar that had clearly been a meeting place for demons, but there was no sign that they were still in town and no way to track them. Bobby was still in Kester the night before when Sam had called to tell him that Kristine was having contractions.

Sam was sure the demon activity had something to do with the baby and he knew that if he wasn't at the hospital and something happened, he would feel guilty forever. He got into the car he'd been borrowing from the estate and headed toward the inn, calling Rachel as he drove. She had just been about to get into her own car, but was happy to wait for Sam to pick her up. They were at the hospital a few minutes later.

Rachel knocked on the door and heard Kristine invite them in. She was sitting on the window seat, Dean's arm around her when Rachel opened the door. Sam was surprised to see her looking almost like her usual self; it wasn't like he had a lot of experience with women in labor.

"Hi there," Kristine smiled.

"You look very calm," Rachel returned the smile. "You know this is where my Katie had her baby."

"I know; we talked all about it when she came to the shower."

"How are you doing?" Rachel asked, sitting next to her when Dean moved out of the way.

"Not too bad so far. The doctor was just here; she said things are going fine. The contractions seem to be stuck at four minutes apart." She looked at Sam. "I'm glad you came."

He nodded, his hands stuffed into his coat pocket. "Yeah, me, too."

"Hey, Sam, how about we give the women a few minutes alone?" Dean suggested.

He nodded again. "Yeah."

---

"I feel like an idiot," Sam said. "You handling everything okay?"

They walked toward the waiting room down the hall. "Yeah, I guess. I can't believe it's happening. And Kristine seems to calm."

"It's your job to keep her that way, I guess."

"Yeah. God, Sam, I can't believe in a few hours…..there's going to be a real baby. I…." he turned away.

Sam moved to stand next to him. That's how they'd always offered each other strength; there didn't have to be a physical touch, but only closeness.

"Sam," Dean began, his voice gravely. "Promise me you'll stay around. You can stay in the waiting room if you want, but I really need you here."

Sam didn't hesitate. "I'll stay."

Dean nodded.

_tbc_


	8. Chapter 8

**Choices**

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities - Eda J. Le Shan

oooOOOooo

Kristine opted not to use drugs; the pain had become intense, but not anywhere near what she had been expecting and the pain management techniques that had been taught in the birthing classes were proving to be effective. She couldn't believe how helpful Dean was. He stayed close to her, but at the same time he gave her the space she needed. He seemed to recognize what worked for her and what didn't. He didn't slip into using juvenile humor like he often did in a stressful situation and Kristine couldn't help but wonder if this was the hunter in him coming out.

When the doctor came in to assist with the actual delivery, Dean seemed even more receptive to the subtle signals from Kristine. She changed positions a few times, each with Dean's help. He held her hand, wiped her face with a cool cloth and encouraged her in gentle but authoritative tones.

Kristine saw the tears in his eyes when the doctor handed the baby to him. As she laid back against the pillows, exhausted, and the nurses went about their work, she watched Dean interact with his new child. At first he was nervous, but that seemed to only last for a few minutes before his natural instincts took over.

---

Dean flashed back to the day his brother was born. As the big brother, he was allowed to visit his mom and the baby in the hospital even though he was very young. He remembered his dad lifting him onto his mom's bed and with her arm around his shoulders his dad put Sammy into his arms. He immediately fell in love with his little brother and as he looked into the face of the baby he now held, he felt the same way.

---

Once the nurses were finished and Kristine was in a comfortable position, Dean sat on the edge of the bed and put the baby into her arms. Nothing had ever felt so peaceful or so right in her life. She remembered what it had been like to hold her nephew for the first time, but it didn't compare to holding her own child.

---

When the room was ready for visitors, Sam didn't want to overload Kristine or the baby, so he suggested that Rachel go in alone. She was gone only a few minutes before returning to the waiting room.

"Your brother is anxious to see you," she smiled. "Take your time."

Sam knocked on the door and waited until he was invited in. He stepped inside, thinking he was prepared for what he would see, but when his eyes landed on his brother holding a tiny bundle, Sam was paralyzed. Kristine was lying against the pillows of the bed, a thick blanket over her. She looked tired, but happy.

"Sammy," Dean began, looking at his brother with tears in his eyes. "Come and meet my son."

Sam forced himself to move forward and looked at the baby. He felt an immediate connection and couldn't even begin to imagine what Dean was feeling.

"Do you want to hold him?"

"No, I…."

"Go ahead," Kristine encouraged.

Sam looked back to his brother and Dean handed the baby to him. When his eyes shifted to the infant, he heard Dean's voice. "Sam, meet your nephew, Ryan John Winchester."

He looked up sharply and saw the smile on Dean's face. He turned to Kristine and she nodded. "How could we not name him after his grandfather? My dad's name didn't go with John and I wanted the baby to have Winchester as his last name, so we decided to use my last name."

"I think Dad would like that," Sam said quietly, turning his attention back to the baby.

---

Sam was standing in front of the nursery window looking at the babies, Ryan in particular, when Dean joined him. Ryan was going to spend the night with his parents, but it was standard procedure for the newborn to spend a few hours in the nursery so the parents could rest. Kristine's aunt, the self-proclaimed matriarch of the family, had come from Asheville and Dean didn't want to interfere. The truth was, he was uncomfortable around Kristine's family and this woman in particular. She was very dignified and he had no idea how to act around her. He knew that Kristine understood; it had been her idea for him to spend some time with his brother while her aunt visited.

"He's a good lookin' kid," Sam said.

"He's my son after all."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "You want to get out of here for a little while?"

"Look at him, Sammy. I don't deserve this. He's perfect."

"Why don't you deserve it?"

Dean shook his head. "You know….I'm nothing special; just a guy."

"I don't like it when you do that," Sam said, his voice gentle.

"Do what?"

"How many times do I have to tell you….look, that kid? He's damn lucky to have you as a father."

Dean just shook his head, staring at the baby.

"Come on," Sam said, patting Dean's shoulder. "I bet you can get a free beer at Mojo's."

"Yeah, okay, but I don't want to be gone too long."

"Of course not, but you want to give Kristine some time with her aunt."

"What if she wants to stay at the house?" Dean asked as they walked away from the nursery.

"Kristine can handle her family."

"That old woman makes me nervous."

"All old women make you nervous."

"True. But the way she looks at me; like I'm dirt on the bottom of her shoe."

"That's a little dramatic, isn't it?"

"That's how it feels, man."

"Yeah, well, I think you're just paranoid."

"I never said I wasn't, Sammy," Dean said as they walked toward the elevator. In the parking lot, Dean paused. "You know, I don't think I'm up for Mojo's."

"No problem. We can go to the cottage or the main house."

Dean opted for the cottage and he pulled up in front of it a few minutes later. He followed Sam inside and looked around as they walked into the kitchen.

"It still looks kind of bare in here," Dean commented.

Sam got two beers from the refrigerator and put them on the table. He didn't respond as he looked for something they could eat.

"Sam?" Dean sat down.

"I've got leftover chicken from the main house."

Dean sighed to himself. "Sounds good."

It didn't take long for Sam to put a simple meal together and a few minutes later he was sitting across from his brother. They ate in a somewhat uncomfortable silence, but Dean didn't let it go on for very long.

"Hey, Sam, I, uh….I wanna thank you for hanging out at the hospital. I mean…."

"I'm glad I was there."

"I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed."

"I bet. Look, Dean, whatever you need…."

Dean looked at him. "Thanks."

oooOOOooo

Kristine sat on the couch; her favorite aunt on a chair in front of her. Elizabeth was her father's only sister and had married into another influential North Carolina family. Image and reputation were very important to her and while Kristine understood that and she respected it, it wasn't a feeling she necessarily shared. She knew that some of her actions in the past had caused her family embarrassment, though she'd never intended that to be the outcome. Kristine respected them; it was rare for anyone in her family to rest on their laurels because were taught from a young age that their money and influence was not something to be taken lightly. They were expected not to live off their inheritance and trust funds, but to work and do something to benefit their communities.

"What are your plans?"

"You know that I stopped working at the clinic. I'm planning to be a full-time mother; at least for the time being."

"And the father?"

"His name is Dean."

"I know that," Elizabeth sounded irritated. "And Dean?"

"What exactly do you want to know?"

"Will he be staying with you?"

"Yes; when his work doesn't take him elsewhere."

"Will you be getting married?"

The question didn't surprise Kristine. "That isn't our current plan."

Her aunt's disapproving expression didn't surprise Kristine, either. She was hardly the first person in the family to have a child outside of marriage, but that didn't seem to matter to her aunt at the moment.

"I see." Elizabeth sat up straighter and straightened her skirt, though it had not been out of place. Kristine knew that a lecture was forthcoming and though she tried to remember that she was not a sixteen year old girl, old patterns were hard to break. She felt like she was regressing with each second her aunt stared at her; when Elizabeth finally spoke, her tone was soft and controlled. "You know I only want the best for you and maybe it's best that you don't get married. After all, Dean may not –"

"Careful," Kristine warned, finding her voice.

Elizabeth looked at her, something close to astonishment on her face.

"You don't know Dean very well," Kristine continued. "You have no idea what kind of person he is. All you know is that he doesn't come from old money."

"I don't know where he comes from at all."

Kristine realized her mistake and sighed to herself. "Elizabeth, I'm glad you're here and I appreciate your concern. You know that I've not always made the best choices yet you've always stood by me. I don't know what's going to happen in the future; Dean and I have a unique relationship that I can't really explain. I'm not trying to hide anything from you; Dean is not polished, but he's a good man who will be a good father to his son."

When Elizabeth didn't immediately back down, Kristine was afraid she'd set the timer on the bomb rather than disarming it. A moment later, the older woman slouched slightly and sighed. "I was coming across as a real snob, wasn't I?"

"A little bit," Kristine agreed, relieved.

"I'm sorry, honey. You just had a baby and I shouldn't be interrogating you. I know this young man has been in your life for quite some time and that he's been there when you needed him. I know that your mother liked him and the trust you have in him should be enough for me."

Kristine was more than a little stunned and it took her several moments to formulate a weak response. "Thank you."

Elizabeth smiled. "I just worry about you; you've been through so much and I feel a little responsible for you since both your parents….well, you should probably rest. Is there anything you need?"

"No, I'm fine."

"All right, then. I'll leave you to yourself, but I'll call you in a couple of days to see how things are going and once you're settled, I'll come back for a visit." Elizabeth stood up and Kristine walked with her to the door. "You know you can call if you need anything. I'll be here in a flash; judgment free."

Kristine smiled. "I know that. Thank you."

Elizabeth hugged her warmly before opening the door. Alone for the first time in hours, Kristine realized just how tired she was and decided to take advantage of the time she had. A few minutes later she had burrowed under the covers of the bed and was sound asleep.

When her eyes opened later, the room was dimly lit, but she was able to see Dean sitting in the chair across the room, quietly rocking Ryan. She watched them for several minutes before letting Dean know she was awake.

"How long have you two been here?" she asked.

"Not long; maybe fifteen minutes."

"He's not hungry?"

"He's starting to fidget, so maybe. Have you eaten?"

Kristine sat up. "Some; I'm fine."

"How did it go with your aunt?"

"It started out a little rocky, but turned out okay," Kristine said and then told him the basics of the conversation. "What did you and Sam do?"

"We had leftovers at the cottage." Dean made his way to the bed and handed Ryan to his mother before settling in next to them. "I'm a little worried about him. He hasn't changed a thing since he moved in and unless he's with us, he's alone."

"I talked to Lori earlier; she'll be here tomorrow night. Maybe they can spend some time together while she's here; if anyone can talk him into getting out, it's her."

"You're not trying to set him up, are you?"

Kristine turned her attention to the baby. "No, I wouldn't do that. She's not right for him, anyway. Hey, have you gotten in touch with Bobby?"

Dean shook his head and put his arm around Kristine's shoulders as she fed Ryan. "No. I tried a couple of times, but got his voicemail. Sam said he'd try to find him."

A nurse came in a little later to check on the little family and once she was satisfied that things were going well, she left them alone. The rest of the night went smoothly. Ryan woke up, wanting to eat, every two hours like clockwork. Kristine and Dean were tired the next day, but happy to find out that the doctor had signed the release papers.

Dean pulled the car up to the front of the hospital as a nurse brought Kristine out in a wheel chair.

"I'll put him in the car seat," he said, reaching for the baby.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely," he said. He leaned into the car and while he secured Ryan into the seat, a memory flashed into his head. He could remember crawling into this same backseat with Sam in a car seat when his brother couldn't have been more than seven or eight months old. He didn't know for sure, but he thought it might have been the night they left Lawrence. He'd never thought about that night before; he'd never remembered anything about it, but the feeling was very strong.

"Everything okay?" Kristine slid into the passenger seat.

Dean had to shake himself before he could respond. "Yeah; just making sure he's safe." He laid his hand gently on the baby's head and smiled before getting behind the wheel of the car.

"You ready for this?" Kristine smiled at him.

"Sure, I've been driving this car for years."

He saw Kristine roll her eyes as she laughed. "Let's get him home."

_tbc_


	9. Chapter 9

**Choices**

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

Secrets are made to be found out with time - Charles Sanford

oooOOOooo

The first few days after brining Ryan home were pretty much a blur for Dean and Kristine. They were tired and trying to get used to having to plan everything around the baby. They had a few visitors and a lot of phone calls. Dean hadn't realized how many people Kristine actually knew and he'd started feeling somewhat overwhelmed. He was glad to escape to the cottage for short periods to spend time with Sam and Bobby.

It didn't take long for things to settle down. Elizabeth visited a couple of times, but seemed content that Kristine and Dean had everything under control. Gradually, there were fewer phone calls and fewer visitors. Bobby and Lori had left after a few days, but kept in touch. Hunters started to show up at the estate again and life began to relax into a new kind of normal.

Leaving Kristine and Ryan to sleep one afternoon, Dean made his way to the cottage to spend some time with his brother. It had been almost two days since Sam had come to the main house and even though there had been phone conversations, Dean was concerned about him.

"Hey," Sam was coming from upstairs when Dean walked through the front door. He seemed a little flustered and Dean couldn't help but wonder what he had interrupted.

"What's going on?"

Sam shrugged and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets. "Nothing. How's Ryan?"

"He's fine. Sleeping."

"Good."

Dean noticed that Sam was almost bouncing, though he seemed anything but happy.

"Is something going on?" he asked suspiciously.

"No. Just been reading."

Dean nodded; he wasn't at all sure Sam was being completely honest.

"You, uh, want something to drink or….?" Sam glanced into the hallway behind him. He seemed nervous.

"What's going on with you, man?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Are you hiding something from me? Or is someone here? I –"

"No! No one's here. I just….I didn't know you were coming."

Dean looked at Sam, sure the skepticism he felt was showing on his face as he glanced around the room. Sam still had not made any changes since he moved in, but there were dirty dishes scattered around and clothes strewn over the backs of chairs. He could only imagine what the rest of the small house looked like.

"Sam." The younger man seemed to shrink under his brother's gaze. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I've just been reading and researching." Sam absently began to gather up the clothes.

"I can see you've been eating," Dean nodded toward a pile of empty containers on the coffee table. Often when Sam was in the clutches of research, he would forget to eat. There had been more than once that Dean had to insist he take a break for some food.

Sam looked guilty as he glanced toward the coffee table. "Yeah, I, uh…."

Dean started to gather up the dishes.

"I'll do that," Sam said, dropping the clothes onto the couch.

"You take the clothes to the laundry room and I'll put the dishes in the kitchen. Then you're going to talk to me."

He ignored Sam's plaintive look when he walked into the kitchen a few moments later. It wasn't in much better shape than the living room had been. It worried Dean to see the empty beer bottles overflowing from the bin under the sink.

"You're drinking?" he asked as Sam walked through the kitchen into the laundry room.

"Not a lot; just haven't taken the empties out." Sam smiled guiltily as he came back into the kitchen. "I guess I'm not used to having to clean up after myself yet."

Dean looked at him; almost examining him. Sam's eyes were bloodshot, his skin was somewhat pale, the t-shirt he wore looked rumpled and his always unruly hair was even more mussed than usual. Something was definitely wrong.

"Sit." Dean pulled out a chair from the table.

Sam slumped in the chair and Dean sat down across from him.

"Talk to me."

"Dean, come on, man, it's nothing. I've just been caught up and –"

"Caught up in what?"

"Just some research."

"For a new job?"

"No," Sam leaned forward, his hands in his lap.

"About the demon?"

He glanced up for just a moment.

"Is it, Sam? You found something out about the demon?"

"No." His voice was quiet and his eyes didn't meet Dean's.

"Then why are you acting like you're hiding something?"

"I'm not hiding anything; I just….I'm not ready to talk about it. I don't have anything concrete; just a lot of theories."

Dean sat back in his chair. "You look like crap."

"Thanks," Sam smirked.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, Dean. You've got enough on your plate without worrying about me."

"Come on, man. No matter what else is going on, you're a part of my life. A big part. And I'm still your brother whether you like it or not."

As Sam looked him, Dean could tell that he was struggling with something. But he realized he had no choice but to wait and let Sam come to him when he was ready.

"Why don't you and I hang out; watch a movie tonight or take a run into town?" Dean suggested after a few moments.

"I don—"

"Do you have plans?"

"No." Sam's tone was resigned.

"So? Come on. It will do you good to get out of here for a while. And a shower wouldn't hurt."

Sam looked at him sharply, then shrugged. "All right."

"Love the enthusiasm, dude. About an hour?"

"Sure."

Dean stood up. "You know you don't need an invitation to come up to the house, right?"

He nodded. "I know."

Dean looked at him for a moment. "I'll pick you up in an hour."

---

Sam watched his brother walk toward the front door. After a moment, he stood up and slowly made his way upstairs. He turned on the water in the shower and peeled off the clothes that he wasn't sure how long he'd been wearing.

He didn't even feel the water pounding his tense muscles. It wasn't until he glanced down and saw the redness of his skin that he realized the water was too hot. Still not really feeling anything, he adjusted the temperature and then placed one palm flat against the shower wall. He laid his head against his arm and struggled to gather his thoughts and reign in his emotions.

He wasn't a bad liar. He could be very good at it when the situation warranted, but he hated keeping things from Dean. He had nothing more than theories, but every stone he turned over made his ideas just that much darker.

Sam had spoken to Bobby several times about his thoughts and the information he was finding. Bobby had grudgingly come to agree with him, or at least he found merit in the ideas. He had begged Sam, more than once, to tell Dean, but Sam wanted to be wrong. And if he was wrong, Dean would never have to endure the pain and anxiety that Sam was feeling. He had resolved to only tell Dean if he had proof that Ryan's very existence related to the demon that had taken so much from them.

---

When Dean got back to the cottage, he was happy to see Sam looking more like himself. Dean had no doubt his brother had taken a little extra care getting ready purely for his benefit, but it still made him feel a little better. He'd also cleaned up the downstairs a little bit. Dean wanted to walk through the whole house to see what condition the other rooms were in, but he resisted the urge.

"Let's go to Mojo's," Dean said.

"Are you sure you want to go out? We could watch a movie here, or…."

"When was the last time you were off the estate?"

"I don't know. A while."

"Grab your coat; let's go."

Dean heard Sam sigh, but he walked to the closet and pulled out his coat.

---

"Everything okay at the main house? Ryan doing all right?" Sam asked when they were in the car.

"Yeah, he's good. He said he misses his uncle."

"He said that, huh?" Sam asked with a lopsided smile.

"He must take after you; he's pretty smart."

"Good thing he got your looks, though, right?"

Dean laughed. "Oh, yeah."

Sam looked around the lot when Dean parked at the bar. It was almost empty, but that wasn't unusual on a Wednesday evening. They settled at a corner table after Dean finished showing off pictures of Ryan to the staff. They all knew Kristine and probably would have refused to serve the brothers without the photos. There were a few good-hearted jabs about Kristine having to stay home with the baby while Dean had a night out on the town, but he answered them with more good-natured jokes.

It was hard to miss the change in Dean since Ryan's birth, but it wasn't something Sam could put into words. His brother had always seemed somehow superhuman; growing up he had wanted to do everything just like Dean did. It might have been more than just the baby, too. Mountain Ridge was a town where both brothers had always felt comfortable. It was a place where there were people who could almost be friends. Whatever it was, Dean's smiles came easier and the edge that he'd always had wasn't so apparent now.

The brothers fell into a conversation and it wasn't long before Sam was feeling more comfortable. They had a couple beers and shared a plate of nachos before heading back to the estate.

"You wanna come in?" Sam asked when Dean pulled up in front of the cottage.

Dean had called Kristine from the bar and he knew that Ryan was asleep. She had encouraged him to spend as much time with Sam as he wanted to, so Dean nodded. "Sure."

Sam hesitated when he reached for the car door handle.

"What?" Dean asked.

"It's weird to ask you to come in. I mean…."

"Yeah, I know," Dean agreed.

A few minutes later the brothers were in the living room with a movie playing and each with a beer in hand. It wasn't long before they weren't paying attention to the movie and talking again; Sam was more than a little aware of how much he'd been missing this kind of interaction.

---

Dean laid his head on the back of the couch when Sam left to go to the bathroom. He was tired but he was enjoying himself too much to leave. He'd called Kristine again only to be told that things were fine and she didn't want to talk to him again until morning. He appreciated how supportive she was of his relationship with Sam. He didn't know from firsthand experience, but he assumed that a lot of women would have a problem with how close the brothers were. Then again, most women hadn't been through what Kristine had and wouldn't be able to appreciate the things he and Sam faced.

"It's getting late," Sam said when he came back into the room a few minutes later.

"You ready for bed, Princess?" Dean smiled at him.

"Bite me, Dean. I just figured you'd want to get back to Ryan."

"I called. Kristine said they're fine and she's going to bed," Dean leaned forward as Sam sat in the chair across from him. "Hey, Sammy?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, I, uh….when I was here earlier…." He saw Sam look away. "Sam, I don't want you to feel like you're in the way or anything, okay, man? And you can tell me if there's something going on."

"I know."

Dean heard the words, but he didn't think Sam really felt that way. He seemed smaller somehow, even younger, and even though Dean didn't want to mess up the good time they were having; he needed to know that his brother was all right.

"Do you? I mean, do you really?"

Sam sighed and matched his brother's posture. "It's just kind of weird, okay?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Dean was disappointed, but he hadn't expected Sam to feel any different.

"I'm happy for you," Sam said quickly. "And you look relaxed and happy….happier than I've ever seen you probably."

"Yeah, maybe I am. But Sam, we—"

"We're brothers. I know."

"That's never going to change. Ryan is amazing and…."

"And what?"

Dean looked at his brother. "Sometimes when I hold him or put him to bed, I see you when you were a baby. Not as young as Ryan is, but still a baby. I remember things and….damnit, Sam, I miss you, okay?"

Sam smiled at him. "Dude! Is this a chick flick moment?"

"Bitch." Dean's grumble was good-natured.

"Jerk."

And with that, anything that had been wrong between them was righted.

oooOOOooo

Sam began making a point of spending more time with his brother as well as with Kristine and the baby. He couldn't believe how much Ryan changed in between his visits. It was still strange to see Dean interacting with this little person, but it showed him a side to his brother that he was rarely able to see. Sam knew it was there, but it was something that Dean kept hidden away most of the time.

For the first time in years, the brothers celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas. They were small celebrations held at the estate, but that was more than they'd done in longer than either could remember. Dean was glad that Kristine managed to get them out of appearances at her family's various celebrations, but he didn't think that luck would continue forever.

Sam was still afraid that demons were involved in Ryan's life and he had to wonder how similar it was to his own connection to the yellow-eyed demon. He hadn't managed to uncover any more information about that, though he was now able to trace the demons movement using the pattern that had been discovered by his dad. Unfortunately there hadn't been any indication of it for quite some time.

Despite his suspicions and fear that something would happen at the estate, Sam was beginning to feel the need for a hunt. He didn't want anything complicated or anything that would take him away for too long, but he wanted to get out on the road for a while and he wanted to use his fighting skills for something more than sparring with Dean.

About three weeks after the brothers' outing to Mojo's a hunter came to the estate. He was on his way to deal with a rather nasty spirit in Kentucky that was terrorizing a small town. He'd heard about it from a friend who had innocently come across a few newspaper accounts of strange occurrences in the town.

It was a simple salt and burn, nothing the hunter normally couldn't handle on his own, but he'd broken his hand in a tussle with a werewolf a few weeks before and was recruiting help. Sam agreed to go with him before he'd even thought about it. He had to remind Dean about the conversation they'd had regarding him going off with other hunters and the older brother reluctantly relented in his opposition.

Sam suspected that Dean wanted to go, too, and not just because he was an overprotective big brother. As much as Dean was enjoying his new role, Sam knew he wouldn't be happy spending all of his time at the estate forever.

"You sure you don't want to take the Impala?" Dean asked the morning Sam and Frank were heading out.

Sam zipped up his duffel bag. "I'm not taking your car, man. Frank's is fine. You checked it out yourself yesterday."

"Yeah, but I know you can trust the Impala. Besides, that way, you're in control."

"Control? Dean, come on."

"Take the Impala."

Sam put his hands on his hips and looked at his brother. "Would it really make you feel that much better?"

He seemed to think about it for a moment. "Yeah, it would."

Sam held out his hand. "Keys."

oooOOOooo

Lucy and Joseph were in another bar, in another town. They were trying to remain unnoticed, but enjoyed their human existence too much to give it up. They met in secret with other members of the governing body and so far everyone agreed to wait for six months to do anything about Ryan Winchester.

The two demons were talking quietly when they were surprised by George, one of their companions, slid into the booth across from them. "We have to talk."

"What are you doing here?" Joseph asked, his tone clearly portraying his irritation.

"Azazel has Bethany."

"What!" Joseph exclaimed. "How do you know?"

"I saw her being taken!"

"She'll tell him everything if she hasn't already," Lucy said. "She's lost to us."

"This is bad," Joseph's voice was quiet.

"What do we do?" George asked.

"Even he won't be able to get to the child," Lucy said.

"We don't know that for sure. Besides, it's bad enough that he's going to know our intention," Joseph looked at his companions. "We need to speed up our plan. We have to get that baby."

"How?" George asked. "As long as he's in the house, he's not vulnerable."

Joseph looked thoughtful. "I have an idea. We can't get into the house any more, but I think we can get close enough to exert some _influence_. I hope so, anyway."

"_Influence _to do what?" George asked.

"I don't know exactly. We need to get the baby out of the house; preferably away from the estate. If we can get close enough, we could make him sick….or at least appear sick so that he's taken to the doctor. We can possess the doctor or a nurse; anyone we need to so that we get the baby."

"What about Sam?" Lucy asked.

"He's left the estate."

Lucy and Joseph looked at George.

"How do you know that?" Lucy asked, her voice almost a hiss.

"I made a pass through Mountain Ridge to—"

"That was a stupid move," Joseph growled. "However, it gave us some useful information, so maybe it's for the best. Where has he gone?"

"He's with another hunter; they're going to deal with something in another state."

"A formidable hunter?" Lucy asked.

"A capable hunter," George answered.

"All right," Joseph rubbed his hands together. "Lucy and I will deal with the child. You make contact with the others and tell them what's happening. Take several with you and grab Sam. We'll all meet at home as soon as we're done. Send those you're not using to help you home immediately and have them make preparations."

"You think you and Lucy can handle getting the baby alone?" George asked.

"We'll call for reinforcements if we need any," Joseph said. "With Sam gone, there's no one there who will suspect anything. That will make it easier."

It hadn't gone unnoticed by the demons that Sam's natural curiosity had pointed him in their direction. Well, not theirs, really, but Azazel's. He had the right idea, but the wrong suspect.

After a little more discussion, George took his leave. Lucy and Joseph didn't stay much longer; they had to assess the protection around the house in Mountain Ridge and figure out the best way to breach security while Sam was gone and before Azazel managed to do it.

oooOOOooo

Kristine walked into the master suite to find Dean on the couch, cell phone sitting on the table in front of him. He seemed to be lost in thought and hadn't even reacted when she closed the door behind her. She knew he was worried about Sam and it had been hard for Dean to sit back and let Sam go without him.

"Hey," she said, making sure she had his attention before wrapping her arms around his neck. "Whatcha doin?"

He didn't answer.

"You worried about Sam?"

He shrugged.

"Wish you were out there with him?" Kristine felt him flinch a little and she kissed his cheek. "It's okay if you do. Maybe when he's done with this job, you two can find one to go off on together."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" he joked.

"Totally."

Dean looked at her and pulled her over the back of the couch. He let out a small sound of frustration when Ryan began to cry a few minutes later.

"I'll get him," Kristine sighed as she stood up. "Your kid has bad timing."

Dean watched as she walked away and jumped when he heard what sounded like a cry of agony from Ryan. He called Kristine's name as he rushed to the nursery.

"He's burning up," Kristine said, her expression worried.

Dean gently laid a hand on Ryan's head as Kristine held him.

"I think we have a thermometer. It's probably in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom." Dean left the nursery, coming back a moment later tearing open the thermometer package.

Kristine looked at him. "I don't suppose you want to do this?"

"No, but I will."

She shook her head. When she had the reading, she looked at Dean. "101.2."

"I'll call the doctor."

Because Ryan was only three months old, his pediatrician didn't want to take any chances. He told Dean to take the baby to the clinic and promised to meet them there as soon as he could.

They watched as the doctor on duty at the emergency room examined Ryan. When they were relegated to the waiting room while some tests were being run, Kristine called Rachel. It didn't take long for her to arrive and she did what she could to keep the young parents distracted.

Kristine recognized Dean's strange calmness as his way of dealing with fear. Sometimes he made stupid jokes, but sometimes he got intensely quiet and wasn't sure which one she preferred. She knew how much he hated hospitals; she wasn't thrilled with them herself, but it was easier to concentrate on Dean than on her own uncertainties.

It was Ryan's doctor who came to speak to them about the tests. Before he even began to speak, Kristine could tell by his expression that the news wasn't good. He didn't have a definitive diagnosis and wanted to admit the baby until they could find out what was causing the fever.

Later, Dean sat rocking Ryan while Kristine spoke with a nurse down the hall. He remembered the first time Sam had been taken to a hospital. Their dad had left them with Pastor Jim so he could go off on a hunt. Sam hadn't even been a year old yet and he'd gotten a very bad cold. It quickly escalated and Jim had no choice but to take him to the doctor. He'd been admitted and Jim had arranged for one of the church women to take care of Dean, but he hadn't wanted to leave his brother. Eventually Jim relented and allowed Dean to stay. He didn't remember climbing into the hospital crib with Sam, but that's where he woke up and his dad was dozing in a chair nearby.

Dean knew that his father wouldn't be coming this time. He kissed Ryan's forehead; it was still much warmer than it should be.

"Dean?" Kristine asked, her voice intentionally quiet when she came into the room. She paused before continuing. "Is there any chance this isn't something physical?"

"Kristine…." He looked at her and knew she would see through any lie. He'd already thought of that possibility. "I don't know. I guess there's always a chance, but we have more layers of protection around that house and in his room than….well, there's a lot of protection. I don't know what could have gotten through it."

She nodded. "I talked to Dr. Carlisle about moving Ryan to a hospital in Asheville. He said he would have brought it up tomorrow if the latest round of tests doesn't come up with anything. He's already made inquiries."

Dean didn't respond and Kristine sat in a nearby chair. "How are you doing?"

He glanced at her, then turned his eyes back to the sleeping baby. "Okay. What about you?"

"I'm scared."

It was more her tone than her words that made Dean look at her again. She didn't often sound vulnerable and in the past when it happened, it had almost always been when she'd either stopped taking her medication or the dosage needed to be adjusted. "There's a physical cause and the doctor will find it," Dean assured her.

Kristine only nodded.

Dean stood up and carefully laid Ryan into the crib. Satisfied that he wouldn't wake up, Dean crouched in front of Kristine and took her hands. She stared into his eyes for a moment, then wrapped her arms around his neck. He slipped his arms around her waist and moved close.

oooOOOooo

Frank knew something was wrong when he realized that his eyes were open and he was seeing stars above him. He felt around his body and thought he was on cement. Slowly, he turned his head and moved his eyes discovering that he was on the side of the road, in front of the Impala. The driver side door was open.

"Sam?" he called, carefully sitting up. He tried to remember what had happened, but his mind was a blank. "Sam!"

Frank's body protested when he stood up and if he'd been more than an arm's length away from the car, he would have fallen back to the pavement. After leaning on the hood for a few minutes, he slowly made his way to the open door. Sam wasn't inside, but the keys still hung from the ignition.

He turned and called Sam's name again, but there was no answer. He sat down in the car and rubbed his head, flinching when he touched a knot near the back.

"Damnit," he muttered. After a moment, he reached into his pocket and found his cell phone. He started to dial Sam's number, but hesitated when he began to feel dizzy again. When the cobwebs cleared, he started to remember what had happened. Instead of dialing Sam's number, he called Dean.

Frustrated when he got voicemail, he started the car and headed back to Mountain Ridge while making more phone calls.

_tbc_


	10. Chapter 10

**Choices**

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

And in life, it is all about choices we make.  
And how the direction of our lives comes down to the choices we choose.  
Catherine Pulsifer

oooOOOooo

Sam didn't know where he was. It looked like one of any motel rooms he'd been in over the years, but he didn't remember checking in to a motel. The last thing he did remember was being in the Impala, headed toward Kentucky. Frank Hodge was in the passenger seat and they were talking about other jobs they'd handled over the years. Like many other hunters, Frank had heard of the Winchesters and he had seemed very interested in Sam's past.

After his head cleared a little, Sam started to examine his surroundings. He thought it was odd that there were no windows, but when he found the door was locked from the outside, he knew that he was in trouble. He struggled to remember something, anything, about what may have happened. He started to think that maybe Frank had been a little too interested in his past, but Kristine had vouched for him. She wouldn't have done that if she wasn't sure he could be trusted.

Not surprising, Sam didn't find any of his things in the room nor was there anything he could use to break out. His head was pounding and movement was beginning to be difficult. He sat on the edge of the bed where he'd woken up and waited for something to happen. It didn't take long.

He looked toward the door when it flew open, seemingly on its own. He stood up, but was pushed back onto the bed by something he couldn't see and a woman with long black hair walked into the room. The door closed behind her, but Sam found that he was pinned to the bed. He couldn't have made a run for it in any case.

"Hello, Sam Winchester." She looked at him with coal black eyes, not hiding the fact that she was a demon.

"Where am I?"

"You could be where ever you want to be," she said looking around the room. "I'm not sure I like what you've done with the place."

He only looked at her.

"Sam, you're a guest here."

"Then why am I locked in? Do I have control over that, too?"

She glanced at the door and smiled at him. "Well, no. That you have no control over. But you could change the way the room looks; make it more comfortable. Then again, you have that option at the cottage and you've done nothing with it."

"What do you know about the cottage?"

"You're kidding, right?" she walked around the room, but her eyes didn't leave Sam's face. "We're on the same side, you know."

"Really." His voice clearly indicating his disbelief.

"We are. My companions and I are fighting against the one you call Yellow Eyes. We used to follow him, but we've gone out on our own and we want to defeat him."

Sam only stared at her. She stood in front of him.

"We have similar goals, Sam. We know about your mother and your girlfriend. We know he has plans for you to lead his army; to lead his army against other humans and against us."

"So, you want me to work for you instead?"

"No. Work _with _us to defeat him."

"And then you'll just let me go, live my life? Right."

"Well, we'd prefer you stop hunting us, but yes, we'll let you go."

"I don't believe you."

"I can't say as I blame you. Azazel and his crew are hardly known for their truthfulness."

"But you are?"

"Actually, yes, we are. Sam, we don't want to rule over humanity. We want to coexist. We don't like Hell and we don't want to live there. But we can't stay here with Azazel out to get us."

"Why does he want me?"

"He has some kind of obsession with humans. He's been looking for someone like you, someone strong enough to lead his army, someone his group would be willing to follow. He's been trying to _create _someone like you and he's sure that he was finally successful this time."

"What do you mean by create?" Sam asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"We're not all-powerful, Sam, despite what we'd like humans to believe. Azazel has been trying to put the right set of circumstances together that will produce the right person. That person is you. But there are some of us who don't want to follow a human and we don't want to live by Azazel's rules. Helping us helps you." She finally stopped walking and looked at him. "And it helps your nephew."

"What?" Sam demanded, feeling sick.

"We have Ryan. Or we will soon. If you help us, we won't need him."

"He's just a baby," Sam said. "Why can't you leave him alone?"

"He wouldn't exist without us."

Sam felt his jaw open.

She smiled. "Just as you've been suspecting. But he's no more demon than you are, so don't worry about that. You do what we need you to do and he gets to go back home to Mommy and Daddy and live a happy, normal life. As normal as he can being Dean and Kristine's son, anyway."

"And if I don't?"

"Sam, the truth of the matter is, you will work for Azazel. One day he'll figure out how to make it happen and –"

"I will never lead some demon army." Sam wished he sounded more sure of himself.

"I'm sorry, Sam." She said, sounding like she actually was. "But it will happen. Unless you help us defeat him."

oooOOOooo

"I'm gonna go outside and check my voicemail," Dean said once Ryan had been brought back to the room after another examination and some more tests. "I want to see if Sam has called. Will you be all right?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

Dean kissed her gently. "I won't be gone long."

She nodded. "While you're out there, can you call Lori and let her know what's going on?"

"Sure."

"And Rachel?"

"Yeah. I'll call the estate, too."

"Thank you."

Dean watched her for a moment. He didn't like how calm she seemed; something about it made him nervous and he wished that Rachel hadn't had to deal with an emergency at the bed and breakfast.

---

He was standing outside, about to hit the voicemail button on his phone when Dean heard someone call his name.

"Ross? What are you doing here?" he asked when he saw the estate caretaker coming toward him.

"Frank's been trying to get in touch with you. Dean," he hesitated briefly. "Sam's gone."

"What? Gone? What do you mean?"

"We've got people on it; Bobby's on his way."

"What happened? Where's Frank?" Dean's head was spinning.

"He brought your car back, then turned right around in his own car. Maybe we should sit down."

"Tell me what happened to my brother," Dean demanded.

"It was demons, Dean."

Dean felt like his world had just exploded. "Demons got my brother? _Demons_?"

"Dean, calm down."

"Calm down? You tell me that demons have my brother and I'm supposed to calm down?"

Ross gripped Dean's arm and pulled him away from the sidewalk. "At least rant more quietly."

Dean ran his hand over his face. "You said Bobby's on his way? To Kentucky?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Dean pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Bobby's number. He answered on the second ring. "Dean."

"I just talked to Ross. Bobby…."

"I'm almost there, Dean. I'm meeting Frank and we've got some others on the way. I'll handle this."

"God, Bobby, I need to be there, but Ryan…."

"How's he doin'?"

"Not good. They can't figure out what's causing the fever and it isn't going down. The doctor is talking about sending him to Asheville tomorrow."

"Dean, look, son…."

"What, Bobby?"

"Ah, hell. Did Sam tell you what he's been working on?"

"No," Dean said suspiciously.

"I didn't think so. Dean, he didn't have anything sure, at least not that he told me, but he's been thinking that Yellow Eyes would be coming for Ryan."

"We've all thought that all along."

"Sam thought it was going to happen soon. And he also thought..."

"He thought what, Bobby?"

"That the demon might have had something to do with Ryan even being born."

"What?" Dean exclaimed. "How could he think that and not tell me?"

"He didn't want to hurt you. He wanted to be sure before he brought it to you. The only reason I'm telling you this is –"

"You think the demon is making Ryan sick?"

"I don't know; seems like an odd coincidence that he's sick and Sam's gone missing."

"Damnit," Dean grumbled.

"You gonna be okay?"

"You gonna find my brother?"

"I'll keep in touch," Bobby said quietly.

"Yeah." Dean put the phone back into his pocket and hung his head.

"Dean?"

He looked up at Ross.

"I brought a few things from the estate. Ryan's silver cup and a couple other things." He held out a small bag. "And Kristine's medication. I know she keeps some in her purse, but just in case…."

"Thanks."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

Dean shook his head.

"Okay. I'll head home, but let me know what's going on. I'll probably have information from Bobby to relay."

"Thanks."

Before going back to Ryan's room, Dean called Rachel and left a voice mail for Lori.

---

Dean felt like everything was spiraling out of control. He wanted to be out looking for Sam, but he felt like he needed to stay at the hospital with Kristine and Ryan. He was worried that Kristine wasn't handling the situation very well and he was afraid what that might mean for her.

Since he couldn't use his cell phone in the hospital, Dean asked that a phone be installed in the private nursery that he could use to keep in closer touch with Bobby. They spoke several times over the next few hours, but Bobby had little to tell Dean.

oooOOOooo

Sam didn't know how long he'd been left alone, but when the demon came back, she had someone with her.

"I don't think I properly introduced myself before," she said. "You can call me Lucy. This is Joseph."

Sam said nothing.

"You haven't made any changes to your room," she noticed.

Still, Sam stayed quiet.

"No matter. We're here to talk to you about our mutual problem."

"We had a plan," Joseph said. "But Azazel has taken one of our own and none of us think she'd be able to hold out for very long. He probably already knows about our plan, so we're going to have to make some modifications."

"I'll help you," Sam said. "But I have some conditions."

"You're hardly in a position to negotiate."

"I think I'm in the perfect position."

"Indeed," Joseph sounded thoughtful. "What are your conditions?"

"You leave my nephew alone. Forever. No matter how this turns out. And I want to talk to my brother."

"Your brother? You're kidding," Lucy laughed.

"He'll look for me for the rest of his life if you don't let me talk to him. And he won't make it easy for you."

"Well, if we take his son –"

"Then he'll have double the reason for hunting you down."

Sam watched as Joseph and Lucy exchanged a look. He suspected that they could have an entire conversation telepathically, even in a human form. A moment later, Lucy tossed his cell phone toward him. He caught it, trying not to look too surprised.

"You can call him."

"The real him?"

Lucy smiled. "You don't trust us?"

"Why should I? Look, I want to see my brother; talk to him in person."

"Fine. We'll bring him here."

Sam shook his head. "I still wouldn't know for sure if it was the real him."

"You won't know it's the real him no matter where you see him, no matter how you talk to him. You'll have no idea if you're still sitting in this room or if you're at the estate. Or the hospital."

"The hospital? Why would I be talking to him in the hospital?"

"Seems that baby Ryan has taken ill. He has a high fever that the doctors can't explain."

Sam set his jaw. "Leave him alone."

"Do what we want you to do."

"I said I would. I just want to see my brother first."

The demons looked at each other again.

"All right," Joseph agreed. "You can see him."

oooOOOooo

Ryan's condition worsened overnight and early the next morning he was taken to a children's hospital in Asheville. Kristine went with him while Dean went to the estate to gather up some things that he and Kristine would need. Ross met him at the door with a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," Dean said. "I don't want to stay too long."

"I understand. I was packing some clothes for you when I heard you pull up. I hope you don't mind."

Dean took a long sip from the mug. "No; thanks."

"I talked to Bobby. He said he hasn't found anything yet."

"Yeah, I talked to him."

"How's Kristine doing?"

"Better. She talked to her counselor over the phone and that might have helped. Rachel came back to the hospital for a while, too. Thanks for brining her medicine before."

Ross nodded. "What else can I do?"

Dean headed toward the stairs. "Just keep things under control here, I guess."

After closing the bag that Ross had started and speaking with him again for a few minutes, Dean got back into his car. He was going to head directly for the freeway, but at the last minute decided to go to the cottage. He found Sam's computer in the small first floor bedroom, along with books and papers stacked in what appeared to be intentional piles.

While the laptop booted up, he looked through the pages that had been printed. Some of them had notes written in the margins; Dean recognized his brother's handwriting. Sam password protected the journal he kept electronically, but not to keep Dean out, so he knew how to access it.

Judging by the entries, Sam had begun to suspect that Ryan's conception had not been entirely natural soon after Kristine revealed that she was pregnant. Dean wanted to be angry with Sam for even thinking it, but it wasn't anything that hadn't occurred to Dean as well. He skipped forward, reading every few entries, and he found that while Sam still didn't have enough proof for a positive conclusion, he'd been certain.

Dean reached for his cell phone when it started to ring; he answered it without looking at the caller ID, unwilling to move his eyes from the screen in front of him.

"Hello?"

"Dean, it's Bobby. Where are you?"

"I'm at the cottage. I got into Sam's journal; it's all here, Bobby. He –"

"Get out of there, son. Don't do this to yourself, okay? Listen to me. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where Ryan came from because he's still yours and Kristine's."

"What if –"

"There are no what if's, Dean. I can promise you that he's yours."

"How?" Dean asked, his voice low.

"Can you just trust me?"

"I want to, Bobby, but…."

"Dean…."

There was silence for a few moments before Dean decided to come back to the discussion later. "Do you have any idea where Sam is?"

"No," Bobby answered, sounding reluctant.

"I can't just sit around while….Maybe Rachel can stay with Kristine and –"

"Dean, your son needs you. Kristine needs you. I know you love your brother, too, and you feel responsible for him, but having one more body here isn't going to change anything. We're doing everything we can. And if Sam was right –"

"Ryan is sick because of demons," Dean finished for him.

"You still in the cottage?"

"Yeah," Dean said as he shut down the laptop. "But I'm leaving."

_tbc_


	11. Chapter 11

**Choices**

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

oooOOOooo

There are times when a battle decides everything, and there are times when the most insignificant thing can decide the outcome of a battle - Napoleon Bonaparte

oooOOOooo

The next thing Sam knew, he was standing in the middle of a two-lane road, bordered by tall pine trees. He somehow knew that it was early in the morning. There was no way to tell if any of what he saw was real, but he thought it was. Somehow he _knew_ that it was. And he knew what he had to do. A moment later he heard the familiar grown of the Impala's engine and before he could react, he saw it coming around a bend in the road.

He could see Dean's shocked expression as he apparently slammed on the breaks. Sam jumped out of the way and Dean managed to keep the car under control as it screamed to a stop just inches from where Sam had been standing. Dean stared at him for a moment before pushing open the door and getting out of the car.

"You got away! Sammy, how –"

"Dean, I don't have much time. At least I don't think I do."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, rushing toward him.

"Look, man, listen to me. I should have told you this before, but Ryan–"

"I already know. Bobby told me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry for nothing. I was hoping to prove my theories wrong."

"It's okay; it doesn't matter." Dean gripped his brother's arms. "You're safe, so—"

Sam shook his head. "I'm not safe. At least not like you mean. Dean, there's another group of demons fighting Yellow Eyes and I've been with them. I….I agreed to help them."

He saw the confusion on his brother's face and it almost caused him physical pain.

"What are you saying? Dean whispered.

"They'll leave Ryan alone if I help them."

"No! No, Sam. I'm not going to let you do this."

"You have to, Dean. They had this elaborate plan, but Yellow Eyes found out about it, so they have to improvise. Dean…." Sam put his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Dean, if I don't do this, they'll take Ryan."

"I told you that I'm not letting you do this, Sam. We'll figure out a way to –"

"There's no time, Dean. Please." Sam felt the tears stinging his eyes. "They let me come here to explain it to you. I – I couldn't just disappear because I knew you'd look for me and –"

"Damn straight I'd look for you. Bobby's out there right now and he's got people on this. Sam, we can fight it. I can protect Ryan, I –"

Sam shook his head. He heard the desperation in Dean's voice and it was practically enough to bring the younger man to his knees. He didn't want to leave his brother, but he couldn't let the demons take Ryan. There was only one way out of the situation and he had to make Dean understand.

"Dean." Sam put his hands on his brother's face. "Listen to me. You can't protect Ryan. They've already gotten to him. But they'll leave him alone if –"

"No!" Dean shook his head, tears glistening in his eyes. "Demons lie, Sam. They'll take you and then they'll take Ryan."

"I don't think so. I can't explain it, but I think they're telling the truth. He'll be safe if I do what they want me to do."

"Sam, please. Don't do this." Dean's voice was barely above a whisper. "Don't leave me."

"Dean," Sam gave up trying to be strong. He felt the tears spill onto his face and he didn't bother to wipe them away. "You've always been there for me. You've always made sure I was okay; you protected me. You were the best brother anyone could ever want. I can't let the demons take Ryan. I can't do that to you or to Kristine. Dean, I was always meant to be in this battle. We both know it. We've tried to fight it, but I think….I think even Dad knew we wouldn't win. I _have_ to do this."

"Sammy…."

Sam saw Lucy in the distance. "No matter what happens to me, Ryan will be safe."

---

Dean saw something in his brother's eyes, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on what Sam had said. He felt Sam's hands touch his face again.

"Do you understand me, Dean? No matter what happens to me, Ryan will be safe. No matter what happens to me."

"Oh God," Dean choked, realization coloring his face. He felt Sam's grip on him tighten so that he couldn't turn his head and he was certain that they were being watched. "No, Sammy, please."

"You promised," Sam whispered.

---

Sam knew that no matter how shocked his brother had been at seeing him standing in the middle of the road, Dean's training wouldn't fail him and he wouldn't have gotten out of the car without a weapon. Sam couldn't explain why he thought so, but he was sure Lucy and Joseph had been honest with him. He'd made them agree that no matter what happened to him, they would leave the baby alone forever. He just hoped he could get through to his brother.

A moment later, he saw Dean put a hand in his coat pocket and he took a few steps back.

"It's okay, Dean." Sam saw the tears rolling down Dean's cheeks as his brother pointed the gun at him. He smiled, hoping to convey everything he felt with his eyes.

Time seemed to stand still and Sam wasn't sure Dean would be able to go through with what he had to do. Dean had spent his life protecting him and Sam knew it wouldn't be easy to pull the trigger. Sam had made him promise to do kill him if he ever started to become something he wasn't and even though Sam wasn't going dark side, he needed Dean to honor that promise before Lucy could stop him. He believed her when she'd said he would someday bend to Azazel's will.

Sam looked at his brother, silently pleading. Lucy was still standing in the distance.

"Dean, it's not just about Ryan. I….there's a war going on between the demon groups and they've made me pick a side. I don't have a choice here, man. At least by choosing the side I did, I can save Ryan. Please, Dean. You have to hurry."

Still Dean hesitated, but only for a moment longer.

"Bitch," Dean whispered, the gun beginning to shake in his hand.

"Jerk," Sam smiled at him.

Sam wasn't sure if he heard the gun shot first, or Lucy's scream, but he didn't have long to think about it.

---

"Damnit!" Lucy yelled as the scene around her faded. A moment later, she was alone with Joseph, surrounded by a blackness that no light would penetrate. "Again! We've run this simulation over 300 times and always the same outcome. No matter how we get Sam, Dean kills him."

"With a baby to worry about or with no baby; even when we don't allow Sam to see him, somehow Dean finds him. No matter what we do, it seems that Dean will win in the end."

"We can't use the Winchesters to defeat Azazel," Lucy said miserably.

"There are still things we haven't tried," Joseph pointed out. "Other combinations of things. What about the old man?"

"Bobby?"

"No, the one who lives at the estate."

"Ross?" Lucy asked. "What about him?"

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted. "But he's the only one we haven't had star in one of our movies. Maybe we've overlooked something."

"Let's do it." Lucy said. "What do we have to lose?"

oooOOOooo

Sam opened his eyes, at first not sure what had awakened him. He glanced around; it seemed that no matter how many times he woke up in a strange motel room, it always took him a moment to acclimate himself. He sat up, running a hand over his hair and realized he could hear Dean's muffled voice coming from the bathroom. Knowing his brother was close was more comforting than the situation warranted and he became aware of a vague feeling of dread.

As he tossed the covers aside and got out of bed, Sam wondered if he had been dreaming. He had no specific memory of a dream, but he felt almost as if he'd been interrupted in the middle of something. He realized if he had been dreaming, it certainly hadn't been pleasant because his skin was tingling and he was on edge.

He stood next to the bathroom door, listening to determine if Dean was alone in the other room. Sam couldn't imagine anything that could have happened that would include Dean being in the bathroom with someone else, but it was never a good idea to take anything for granted. He breathed a sigh of relief a moment later when he realized that Dean was talking to Kristine on his cell phone.

The relief was short-lived, though. Something about Kristine; something he couldn't quite remember seemed very important suddenly. He had just gone back to his bed when the bathroom door opened and Dean stepped outside.

"You're awake," he said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah. Why were you talking on the phone in the bathroom?"

"Kristine called and I didn't want to wake you."

Sam thought it must have been the cell phone ringing that had brought him out of sleep. "She okay?"

"We need to go to Mountain Ridge."

Sam saw the somber expression on his brother's face, but the idea of going to North Carolina made Sam very nervous. "What's wrong?"

"Ross is missing."

Every instinct Sam had was warning him not to go to North Carolina, but he knew they couldn't ignore a plea for help from Kristine. Almost against his will, Sam started to pack up their things, growing more nervous by the second.

Once they were on the road, more warning bells began to go off in his head. He didn't know what, or how he even knew, but he was certain that something bad was happening in Mountain Ridge. Something more than Ross' disappearance and he was sure that whatever it was wouldn't end well for him, or for his brother.

_Fin_


End file.
